


I Have Loved You For A Thousand Years

by MissKimisha



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-04
Updated: 2013-08-04
Packaged: 2017-12-22 10:11:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 15
Words: 29,883
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/911991
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MissKimisha/pseuds/MissKimisha
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean raised his younger brother Sam on his own after the death of his parents. Little does Dean know his mother was right, angels are watching over him and have been since he was a baby. One angel Castiel, has watched over Dean for years and finally decides to make his presence known. Castiel visits earth for the first time and acts as human in order to get close to Dean.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

The final suitcase was thrown into the trunk of the car and closed with a soft thud.

"That's the last of it"

"So I guess this is it, huh Sammy?"

Sam nodded, his lips turning up into a sad smile as he pulled his older brother Dean into a tight hug.

Dean Winchester was 22 years old and had practically raised his younger brother Sam alone. Their mom Mary Winchester had died tragically in a house fire when Sam was just a baby and their dad John had taken it very badly, drinking to the extreme and working away a lot, he wasn't around very much which left Dean to look after Sam. John passed away from liver failure when Dean was just 16 years old.

He dropped out of high school early and devoted his time to looking after Sam, making sure his brother continued to attend school, finding himself a job and saving up for the college education that Sam always longed for. He found them a small two bedroom apartment near to Sam's school and they had lived there ever since.

Dean was proud of his younger brother; admiring his ambition and watching him grow into a smart, level headed, extremely tall young man. This was the moment Dean was both waiting for and dreading all at the same time.

Sam Winchester was finally off to college; Dean was over the moon for him and hugged him tightly, fighting back the tears. Unfortunately for them both, the college was 3 states away and a lot more distance put between them than Dean had hoped for, but he was certain Sam would stay in touch. After all he practically raised the kid.

"You take care Sammy, ya hear? You better stay in touch and call me to let me know how you're settling in…" Dean said, gripping Sam's shoulders tightly and forcing a tight lipped smile.

"Dean stop fussing, I'll be fine and of course I'll be in touch…are you…gonna be ok?" Sam said slowly, a frown creasing his brow.

He appreciated everything Dean had done over the years and felt bad leaving him behind, but it had been his older brother that had encouraged him to go on and make something of himself. That was exactly what Sam would do, for himself and for Dean.

The older Winchester chuckled and nodded.

"Sure, you know me…"

Sam gave another sad smile and nodded in response.

"Yeah...I do…I'll miss you Dean, take care"

"I'll miss you too…now enough of the chick flick moments alright, you better get moving" Dean said with a humourless laugh and slapped Sam on the back.

They shared a final smile and Sam got into his car, started up the engine. With a final wave to his older brother, he sped off onto the open road to start his new life.

Dean watched as the car disappeared into the distance and his smile faded as a few built up tears finally spilt over the edge and trickled down his cheeks. He wiped them away with his sleeve, already feeling a lot more alone and dreading going back into his now empty apartment.

He turned and made his way back inside, wiping away any remaining silent tears. Dean was completely unaware of the figure in the shadows, which had been watching the scene unfold.


	2. Chapter 2

Dean chewed at his bottom lip, flicking absently minded through the crappy TV channels, his mind focused entirely elsewhere.

It had been three days since Sam had left for college and Dean was already missing him. Aside from a text Sam had sent the same day he left Lawrence, Kansas to say he had arrived safely at the college, Dean had yet to hear from his younger brother again.

He didn't want to cramp Sam's style or fuss too much, but Dean just wanted to know how he was settling in and living completely alone for the first time in his life, was starting to get on Dean's nerves, even though it hadn't been that long at all.

Making a quick decision, Dean grabbed his cell phone and dialled Sam's number, unsurprisingly it rang out to voicemail and Dean cleared his throat before speaking.

"Oh umm, hey Sammy it's me…just wanted to call and see how you're doin, I mean I know it's only been a few days but…you know…wanted to see how you're settling in I guess…just give me a call…when you get chance…don't worry if you-"

'End of Message'

Dean pulled the phone from his ear and frowned, realising the voicemail had even cut him off for rambling on for too long about…well, nothing really. He cursed and threw the cell phone down.

"Get a fucking grip Winchester" He muttered to himself and shaking his head.

He got up, grabbing his leather jacket, apartment keys and headed for the only other place that felt like home.

The Roadhouse.

O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O

Dean parked his impala out front and made his way inside to the bar. The Roadhouse was Dean's favourite haunt, nothing fancy, just a simple roadside bar with some familiar faces and of course, where Dean worked part time.

He made his way through the doors; there was a few people skulking around the place but not overly busy. Dean nodded in greeting to a few familiar customers before heading straight for the bar.

"Hey Dean, usual?"

"Yeah, thanks Jo"

Dean smiled at the blonde girl behind the bar. Jo was a childhood friend, her mother Ellen owned the Roadhouse, she was a good friend of John Winchester back in the day and thought of the boys as family.

Ellen and Jo were always helpful and supportive of both Sam and Dean, she had immediately hired Dean to wipe down tables and collect glasses; the moment she found out Dean had dropped out of high school and was trying to support Sam, Dean had worked behind the bar ever since along with his other part time job at Singer's auto yard down the street.

Jo put a beer down in front of Dean and he nodded in thanks, before taking a long swig. She sighed and watched Dean with a sad smile.

"Missing Sam?" She enquired, wiping down the bar.

Dean looked up and rolled his eyes, letting out a long drawn out sigh.

"Yeah I guess, not used to living alone. At least there is friendly company in here…"

"It's also your workplace…freak" Jo replied with a laugh, playfully slapping Dean with the cloth in her hands.

"Shut up, I take back the friendly company part! And besides like I'd drink anywhere else…the booze here is free" Dean said laughing, adding a wink for effect.

"Only cause we pity you…cheap skate"

Dean and Jo continued to laugh, a figure sat alone in the far corner of the bar watching everything.

When the laughter died down, Dean declared he was going to grab a table before it got busy and he made his way over to a small table with one lonely chair. Pulling it out he sat down with a thud and placed his beer on top.

Dean let his eyes scan the bar and all of the regulars that graced it on a Friday night, his eyes stopped on a man sitting alone at the corner table. Blue eyes suddenly pierced into his own green eyes and the man was staring right at him unashamedly. Dean shifted in his seat, feeling suddenly uncomfortable and averted his gaze to the table in front of him.

He couldn't help but glance over again, only to find the same blue eyes were still locked on him intently. It's not like Dean hadn't been checked out by guys before, in fact it happened a whole lot, but there was something about this guy's stare that was beginning to freak Dean out.

Dean let his eyes fall back to his beer and he shook his head with a frustrated grunt, swigging his drink back and focusing his attention elsewhere.

This continued for the next hour and a half.

Dean was now on his third beer and the bar had gotten considerably busier, frustration was starting to build even more inside of Dean. Even though he had made a decision not to look back, he KNEW for a fact that the guy was still there and he could still feel those eyes burning a hole in the back of his head.

Jo came over to Dean's table to wipe it down; he let out a relieved sigh.

"Hey…do you know who that weird dude is back there?" Dean asked Jo, jerking his head discreetly in the direction of the stranger.

She glanced up briefly and looked back to Dean, with her hand on her hip.

"Who trenchcoat guy?"

Dean nodded in response.

"Nope never seen him in here before tonight, he got here like ten minutes before you did" She shrugged her shoulders, before strutting back to the bar.

He risked a final glance back to 'Trenchcoat guy' as he was now appropriately named, to find he was still staring. That was the final straw.

Dean gulped the final remains of his beer, slammed the bottle on the table in frustration and stood up abruptly, storming over to the table in which the stranger sat.

Suddenly the piercing blue eyes were wide and slightly taken back, the guy looked down right nervous at Dean's sudden presence.

"You got a problem with me or something buddy?" Dean asked loudly, frowning slightly at the man's wide eyed look. He looked terrified and Dean wondered if he had made a fatal error in going over there. Maybe the guy had a problem or didn't realise he was staring.

The man gulped and shook his head rapidly.

"No…of course not"

The reply that came was quiet, almost unheard and his voice was low, almost gravelly sounding. It sent a wave of multiple shivers down Dean's spine.

"Well you have been staring at me for the best part of two hours, any reason why?"

The man bowed his head and averted Dean's gaze.

"My apologies, I didn't realise I was so…obvious"

"So you admit you have been staring at me?" Dean asked, sounding a lot harsher than he intended to.

"Yes, you are very hard not to…look at. I thought about approaching you to say hello…but I'm not very good with social situations" The man explained, his blue eyes now darting back up to meet Dean's with a slightly renewed confidence.

Dean shook his head and huffed out a laugh.

*Weird guy...* he thought inwardly.

"Well quick tip, next time you wanna say hi to someone, just walk over and say Hi. Cause the staring thing? Kinda creepy dude"

The man nodded and stood up, Dean noticed he was a tad shorter than himself and dressed in a suit beneath his trenchcoat. All of his clothes were entirely too big for him and Dean wondered if this guy was here on business, it wasn't a big town so the local folks tend to know each other.

"Again my apologies, I'm leaving now. Sorry to have bothered you." The man said, meeting Dean's eyes for a final time and heading for the door.

"Wait…I'm sorry if I came off a little abrupt, I didn't mean to…if you're new round here, we're usually pretty friendly…honest" Dean said with a smile as the other man turned back around to face him.

"Thank you, I appreciate that." The man continued to walk towards the door.

Before he could walk out, he came to a stop once more and hearing Dean call after him.

"I didn't catch your name by the way…"

The man turned his head slightly and let out a small smile.

"Castiel"

And with that he walked out of the bar, leaving a curious and slightly nervous Dean behind.


	3. Chapter 3

It was a hot morning in Lawrence; Dean had the day off from both of his jobs and decided to get out of the apartment for a while, clear his head.

He strolled down the main stretch of road near his apartment block, it was very rare he left home without the impala but he supposed for once he should embrace the sunshine and a little fresh air wouldn't kill him.

Dean reached the local hardware store and stopped to glance at some items in the window, when he looked up he immediately seen the reflection of a man stood on the other side of the road, seemingly watching Dean.

He swung around to see who was watching him and found nobody across the street. Dean frowned and shook his head, before continuing up the road.

Passing the local starbucks, Dean decided to grab himself one of them frozen drinks he would never admit to anyone that he actually enjoyed. He stood waiting at the counter, once again getting that creeping feeling of being watched.

He glanced around the starbucks and noticed everyone going about their usual lunch time chatter. Dean's eyes glazed past the window and that's when he seen the flash of very familiar blue eyes and the unmistakable trenchcoat walk past outside.

*Cas…Casti…something?* Dean thought to himself, trying to remember the guy's name, but it certainly explained that creepy 'being watched' feeling if that dude was lurking around again.

Dean figured he was probably over thinking things, why wouldn't someone new to this town pass the local, very popular starbucks? He was bound to bump into the guy, the town wasn't that big. So he shrugged it off and continued about his day.

Only it didn't end there…

For the rest of the day, everywhere Dean turned…there was THAT guy.

He stopped to pick up today's paper…there was trenchcoat guy.

He had lunch in a local diner… there was trenchcoat guy.

He even stopped by to collect some parts for his impala from a salvage yard and the guy was lurking around there too.

And every, single god damn time…he was watching Dean.

Dean knew the guy obviously had social issues and the staring was one thing, but to follow someone around all day?

That was stalking.

O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O

Dean stopped by the Roadhouse to pick up some stuff, fully expecting to find Trenchcoat guy in there too or at least expect him to follow Dean in.

He was nowhere in sight for the first time that day.

"Right I'm going back to my place before stalker boy finds me" Dean muttered, collecting his things.

"Woah wait right there, you have a stalker?" Jo asked, far too excitedly for Dean's liking.

Dean sighed and rolled his eyes.

"It would seem…trenchcoat guy from the other night? Has been following me…pretty much all day, everywhere I turn…there he is. Not just 'passing by' but actually stood nearby…just watching me!"

Jo grinned and her eyes widened.

"Oooooh majorly creepy! Better watch your back Winchester; maybe he has a man crush on you"

Dean pouted and mulled over the suggestion…it was possible.

"I guess…I mean he did say he wanted to approach me the other night…but come on, there is 'man crush' and there is going all 'Kathy bates' on my ass…no thank you"

Jo laughed and shoved Dean's arm, as he gathered his things and walked out of the bar, heading for home.

O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O

Thankfully the trip back to Dean's apartment had been uneventful and the guy didn't make another appearance.

It was now 10pm; Dean had just finished a late dinner and was clearing dishes away. He made his way over to the window to close his blinds for the night.

Dean glanced out of the window and immediately his eyes widened as he caught sight of THAT guy…AGAIN. This time outside, in his street and pretty much staring up at Dean's apartment window, he shivered in response before closing the blinds.

"What the hell" Dean muttered to himself, before making the swift decision to belt it out his apartment and outside in record time.

He glanced around the dimly lit road and there was nobody there, Dean was about to give up until he caught sight of trenchcoat guy walking slowly further down the street. Immediately Dean was hot on his heels and ran after him, coming to a stop right behind the guy and grabbing his arm.

"Hey…you…"

Dean pulled the guy around to face him and again he had a look of alarm on his face.

"…Casteel was it?"

"Castiel" The guy corrected Dean, meeting his eyes with confidence.

"Whatever…what the hell man? Why have you been following me around all day?" Dean said, his voice rising slightly in anger.

"Excuse me?"

"Don't even try to deny it…I saw you today…everywhere I freakin went! Staring at a dude is one thing…but you don't stalk somebody…I mean come on man; you were stood right outside my apartment! How the hell do you know where I live?" Dean ranted, his arms now flying in every direction and showing his frustration.

Castiel winced at Dean's angry tone and looked to the floor with guilt.

"I'm very sorry…please calm down. I didn't mean to scare you. I don't come across very well…I'm not very…"

"Sociable, yeah I get that. Me either…but come on, you gotta know stalking someone is just plain weird? What is it with me, huh? Why do you wanna follow me around so badly?"

Castiel mused over his answer for a moment, before meeting Dean's eyes and causing him to flinch slightly.

"You look lonely. I thought you could use a friend…I'm not very good at social situations but…I know how it feels to be lonely and I thought I was doing the right thing, I wanted to approach you…maybe become friends. But obviously I didn't come off that way…I apologise"

Dean softened for a moment and he felt kind of bad for yelling at the guy, I mean Castiel had worse puppy dog eyes than Sam.

"Look…I get that, it's hard to make new friends but this is NOT the way to go about it dude. But just FYI…you're wrong"

Castiel tilted his head in confusion.

"About what?"

"I'm not lonely, hell can't a guy walk around on his own or have a drink on his own, without some nosey stranger thinking he is drowning in loneliness" Dean said through gritted teeth, trying to contain his anger. He was adamant he just missed Sam…but he would never admit to feeling alone.

Castiel nodded slowly and looked to the ground.

"If that is what you wish to believe…I suppose there is nothing I can do about it. But I know I am right, I'm good at reading people…if you ever need a friend Dean, I will be around"

Dean frowned as Castiel smiled sadly, turned his back and continued to walk off down the road, turning a corner.

It was only then that Dean realized something important and he ran after him, shouting.

"Wait…I never told you my name was Dean"

As he rounded the corner, there was nobody in sight.


	4. Chapter 4

Dean sighed, throwing his cell phone on the coffee table.

It was the 5th voicemail he had left Sam and he still hadn't heard anything from his brother. Dean wasn't particularly worried, he figured Sam was probably just busy but it didn't make Dean feel any better.

Maybe Castiel was right, Dean was lonely and it sucked out loud to actually have to admit that to himself.

He grabbed his car keys and headed out.

O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O

Dean came to a stop at some traffic lights, he drummed his fingers on the steering wheel of his beloved impala and hummed along with AC/DC that blasted through his car radio.

He glanced around out of his window, the local church stood tall and proud on his right, the same church his parents used to take him to as a small child before Sam was born. A figure standing outside of the church looking up towards the cross, caught Dean's eye and he sighed loudly, as he come to recognize that figure as Castiel.

*That guy is seriously everywhere*

Castiel looked a little lost and maybe even a tiny bit confused where he stood outside the church. Dean felt a little bad for him and previous memories of stalking and creepiness left his mind, soon enough Dean was indicating and parking up outside the church and he had no idea why. There was just something about Castiel.

When Castiel didn't even turn around to see who had pulled up behind him, Dean rolled his eyes and got out of the impala. He strolled over to the other man and came to a stop beside him.

Castiel continued to stare up at the church, his gaze never flickering sideways and Dean watched him intently for a change. Finally getting a good look at the guy, without him staring right back and Dean couldn't help but think his clothing and weird behaviour just didn't fit the man's face.

He was young, probably around Dean's age, had short black hair that stuck up in all directions like he had just rolled out of bed (Dean highly doubted it was styled that way on purpose), he had the most powerful blue eyes and the strongest jaw line laced with the slightest hint of stubble.

"Now who's staring?"

Castiel spoke up, amusement in his voice and causing Dean to jump slightly, yet he still didn't turn to face him.

"Annoying isn't it?" Dean said with a cocky smirk.

Finally the other man turned his head to look at Dean briefly, a smile quirking at the corner of his lips before he turned back to face the church.

"Alright Castiel…what gives? You're stood out here in the middle of the street, looking a little confused and staring at the local church? You debating whether or not to sign up?" Dean asked in curiosity.

"I'm pretty sure you do not…sign up…for church Dean"

"Right…by the way, I never told you my name…how did you…"

"I am observant"

Dean raised an eyebrow at Castiel's non hesitant and short response, he shrugged it off.

"Ok…"

"The earth's representation of angel's is very wrong" Castiel said almost as a matter of fact, tilting his head at the church.

Dean laughed in response and followed Castiel's gaze to the church.

"And you would know that how?"

"I just…know things"

Dean laughed again, this time rolling his eyes and shaking his head.

"You're a weird guy…you know that right?"

Castiel smirked and turned to Dean.

"So I have been told"

They shared a quiet laugh; Dean shuffled awkwardly on his feet.

"I guess we kind of got off on the wrong foot huh?"

Castiel nodded in response, before Dean continued.

"Well, I'm all for starting over…if you are? I guess it couldn't hurt, having another friend around town"

"Of course, I'd like that…very much." Castiel said with a small, genuine smile.

O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O

Dean doesn't know how or why they ended up here.

Some stranger rolls into town, stalks Dean and is quite possibly the strangest guy Dean has ever met…and yet, he is actually giving his 'stalker' a chance (was he really THAT lonely), trying to start up a friendship, maybe? And this is how they ended up here…in Dean's apartment.

After their chat outside the church, Dean figured if they were going to be 'friends', they would need to know more about each other and this led to Dean asking Castiel back to his apartment for a beer.

"Beer?" Dean asked, as Castiel hesitantly took a seat on the couch.

"Ok, thank you"

Dean handed Castiel his beer and watched as he eyed it carefully, before taking a small swig. He grimaced at the taste and placed the beer carefully on the coffee table, staring at it as though it was about to explode. As strange as it was, Dean couldn't help but find it amusing.

"Not your usual beer or somethin?" Dean asked in amusement, taking a swig from his own beer bottle.

"I don't usually…drink" Castiel said slowly, finally turning to look at Dean.

"Wow…ok then…" Dean said with a laugh, taking another swig of his beer and putting it beside Castiel's on the table.

"Do you always wear the tax accountant get up?" Dean enquired, eyeing Castiel's clothing that never seemed to change.

"I'm sorry?"

"Nothing…doesn't matter, so what do you do Cas?"

Castiel mused over the question for a few minutes and frowned.

"Umm…what you just said."

Dean quirked an eyebrow.

"Tax accountant?"

"Yes…yes one of those." Castiel said with some hesitancy, which spiked Dean's curiosity. The guy wasn't very good at lying.

"You work at that bar…The Roadhouse?"

Dean frowned, his mouth opening slightly in shock.

"Woahh hold up, I didn't tell you that either! How did you know that?"

"Like I said…I am observant" Castiel said with a serious expression.

"Care to elaborate?" Dean prompted.

"Not really…I just hear people…talking"

Dean nodded slowly, still not quite believing Castiel but deciding to shrug it off…for now.

Castiel noticed Dean's curiosity peaking and could almost see the wheels in his head turning, he had to tread more carefully with his answers and questions.

"So do you live alone Dean?"

"Umm yeah I do now, I never used to…my brother Sam used to live with me but he left for college, moved three states over, just a little over a week ago now." Dean said with a sad smile.

"You miss him"

"Yeah I guess so, not used to living on my own. So used to looking after somebody else"

"But who looks after you Dean?" Castiel asked with curious eyes.

The intense eye contact drew another shiver from Dean and he shook his head, averting his gaze.

"I don't need anyone, I can look after myself."

"Of course"

"So do you have brothers and sisters?" Dean enquired, realizing he knows absolutely nothing about this man sitting in his apartment.

"Yes I have many brothers and sisters"

"Oh yeah? How many?"

"A great amount, I don't see them all…some are not very family orientated, some have gone against their own, some have left, some have passed away, some I speak with but they're not very nice people…and some I get along with"

Dean gaped slightly as Castiel continued to speak, when he finished Dean realized his mouth was hanging open and snapped it shut.

"Fuck Cas…that's a LOT of brothers and sisters. What about your parents?"

Castiel nodded in agreement.

"Yes it is…my father is absent and has been for a long time. He isn't around very much"

Dean shook his head sadly and reached for his beer.

"I hear that…"

He took a long swig and gulped the liquid down, before placing the bottle back and continuing.

"…My parents are dead. My mom died in a house fire when I was young and my dad…well he was also absent a lot, especially after my mom died, he hit the bottle big time and worked away a lot…he eventually died from liver failure when I was 16. I was pretty much pushed into raising Sam alone from a young age and have looked after him right up until the day he left for college last week"

Dean stopped realizing he just practically poured his heart out to a total stranger, he wasn't exactly in touch with his feelings at the best of time but there was something oddly comforting about Castiel and his life story just seemed to pour out.

He turned to see Castiel looking at him with eyes full of…it wasn't pity, not even close…just a hint of sadness and a lot of understanding. It was ridiculously comforting to Dean.

"I'm sorry; I just kinda rambled on a bit there…feel free to stop me. I'm not usually so chatty" Dean said with a laugh, taking another swig of his beer.

Castiel smiled in understanding and nodded.

"This is a good thing Dean"

"I guess, you must just bring it out of me…which is funny since your so reserved and not particularly chatty yourself"

Castiel just smiled in response, causing Dean to further their conversation.

"Ok I have a question…"

"Please…" Castiel said in encouragement.

"There are a lot of lonely looking people in this town…not that I'm admitting to feeling lonely…but why me? Why out of everyone did you zoom in on me?"

"I find you fascinating…"

Dean smirked in amusement and waved his hand as indication for Castiel to explain further.

"…I like you Dean, you are a good man…I can see that. Nobody deserves to be alone…whether or not you admit to feeling lonely that doesn't matter…but you are here, alone…now your brother has gone. I don't have many friends…if any…but I find myself wanting to be yours"

Castiel finished with an almost shy smile, which Dean couldn't help but laugh at.

"Well…thanks…I guess. Ummm look Cas, if you need a friend…I mean sure you're a little weird but hey I can live with that, you're a nice guy…so I guess we could try the friend thing out. I'm game if you are."

Castiel beamed and nodded in reply, he fell silent for a moment before bringing his eyes back to meet with Dean.

"Cas?"

Dean frowned for a moment before realizing he had given Castiel a nickname somewhere along the line during his last little speech.

"Oh yeah…sorry I just tend to shorten names, makes it easier. If you don't like it…"

"No…I love it. You can call me Cas."

Dean smiled and nodded, muttering a quiet 'OK'.

"No offence but Castiel is a bit of a strange name…"

"I am a…I mean; I was named after an angel."

"Cool…I was named after my grandmother"

Both of them fell silent for a second after Dean's final statement, before they both started laughing along together.

When the laughter died down, Castiel stood up and Dean followed suit.

"I should be going…I have business to attend to"

"Oh ok, but you haven't finished your beer…"

Dean said pointing at the pretty much untouched bottle on his coffee table. Castiel stared at it for a moment, before picking it up and chugging down the entire contents in one go without stopping. Dean's jaw fell open in shock as he watched Castiel finish the beer and slam the bottle a little too loudly on the table.

"Finished" Castiel declared with a serious expression.

"DUDE…that was AWESOME!" Dean exclaimed with surprised burst of laughter.

Castiel didn't realise what he did that warranted being so AWESOME but he smiled regardless, before heading towards Dean's apartment door.

"This was…"

Castiel started to search for the right word.

"Fun?" Dean asked with a short laugh.

"Yes…very much so, although I was going to say pleasing."

"You speak funny and yeah, it was kinda fun. Guess this friendship thing won't be so bad after all. Just promise me one thing Cas"

"Anything…"

"No more stalking, if you wanna come hang out. Just call me or come knocking."

Castiel smirked and nodded his head.

"Of Course…I'll see you very soon Dean"

And with that, Castiel was making his way out of the door.

"Hey Cas…friends usually have to exchange numbers or make plans or something?"

Cas turned around and smiled.

"I'll see you very soon…Dean Winchester"

Dean huffed slightly and headed back inside, once his door was closed he realized once again that he had never told Castiel his last name and yet this time? It didn't bother him at all.

Castiel had a very funny way of doing things and if that was anybody else, Dean would believe he just got the brush off.

Weirdly because it was Castiel who had said it, Dean had no doubt he would in fact see him very soon.


	5. Chapter 5

"It is entirely unprofessional Castiel and I do NOT approve"

"I'm doing my job; I'm helping Dean where it is needed"

Castiel protested against his brother Uriel and even though his brother towered over him, Castiel stood his ground and held his head high with a show of confidence.

"You are an Angel of the lord Castiel, a guardian angel…your JOB is to watch over your human charge from the darkness, not present yourself as a human being to gain his friendship. Angels do not visit earth."

"Well maybe they should…and I have watched over Dean, for years now. I have done my duty and guarded him since the day he was born. He feels more alone than ever…he needs a friend"

"That is not your concern and you should not be intervening. Besides you are lying to him, you can't stay on earth forever pretending to be a human Castiel…it doesn't work that way."

Castiel stiffened slightly and bowed his head in thought, before looking up to meet his brother with stern, determined eyes.

"Then maybe I should tell him, who I really am"

Uriel gritted his teeth in anger and stepped into Castiel's personal space, causing the smaller angel to flinch slightly.

"We are at a high risk of being exposed to humans as it is, do you really want to cause a greater risk by telling a human being of our existence? We would be hunted…a war would ensue, don't you understand…"

"Humans would never harm angels, we are their guardians. I have faith in our father's creation…but regardless, I wouldn't go against the wishes of my brothers and sisters. I won't be telling Dean…but if I ever decided to, I would trust him with my life."

Uriel chuckled and shook his head, taking a step back from Castiel.

"You are such…a child Castiel. Your understanding of the hairless apes is lacking…"

Castiel raised his head in time to see his brother Gabriel appear behind Uriel and interrupt.

"Or maybe he's just a little more open minded than some of you chuckleheads!" Gabriel said, leaning lazily against a pillar and sucking on a bright orange lollypop.

Uriel spun around on his heel to face him and sent an icy glare in Gabriel's direction.

"This is none of your concern, leave us."

"No can do bro…you see, Castiel is also my brother…and my human charge is Sam Winchester…who is Dean's brother…and Castiel here is Dean's angel…so we're all connected. What I don't understand, is why you're sticking your big fat oar in? Angel's have visited earth before…it's documented, it's happened…and it ended just fine"

"Not in my garrison it won't…"

Uriel spoke through gritted teeth, before turning back to Castiel who eyed him warily.

"…just watch your back Castiel, if angels are exposed because of your stupidity and obsession with Dean Winchester…it's on your head"

With a flutter of wings Uriel disappeared, leaving his two brothers behind.

"I'm not obsessed" Castiel muttered to himself, before relaxing his stance and letting out a breath of relief.

Castiel had many brothers and sisters, all angels…some where higher than others, including Gabriel who was an archangel and some were just power hungry, like Uriel. Castiel had always been considered the runt of his garrison, many of his brothers would come down hard on him about 'duties' and the fact that Castiel is so curious about the human race, always wanting to be so involved with their fathers pride and joy.

Gabriel however was the one who looked out for Castiel, he had talked their father into assigning Castiel with a human charge when he was old enough and he ended up with Dean, later Gabriel took on the task of guarding Dean's younger brother Sam. It brought him and Castiel closer as brothers. Gabriel is a bit of a trickster and always acted like he didn't care what anybody thought, Castiel admired that.

The archangel chuckled and slapped Castiel playfully on the back.

"Don't worry about him Cassie…he's a grump, you know this! He's over opinionated, a total jobs worth and got a stick the size of a tree trunk shoved up his ass"

Castiel chuckled in return and nodded his head.

"I know, I just wish they could all see that this isn't such a bad thing. Maybe it's about time we developed as angels. Humans are beautiful."

"Couldn't agree more…speaking of which, I checked in on young Sammy a little while ago, he seems to be settling into college…even got his eye on a girl already, the little scamp" Gabriel said with a laugh.

"That's good…Dean misses him, I can tell."

Gabriel watched as Castiel bowed his head, almost of out sadness for Dean and the older angel felt a pang of guilt. He knew how much Castiel cared about Dean's feelings, that being the whole reason he decided to start up this whole 'act as human' idea to start with, just so his charge didn't feel so lonely.

"Tell ya what…how about I give Sam a silent little nudge in the right direction to call Dean? Maybe check in with his bro a bit more often"

Castiel lifted his head, a slight smile now tugging the corner of his lips.

"You…you would do that?"

"Sureeeeee, why the heck not eh"

"Ok, that would be good. Thank you Gabriel."

Gabriel smiled in return and patted Castiel on the back.

O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O

Dean was wiping down the bar at the roadhouse, Jo shuffling around him to clear glasses away and serving the last remaining stragglers before closing time.

"So I've been meaning to ask…how's stalker boy? Still bothering you?"

"Well after I left here, he kinda pitched up outside my apartment that night, just staring up at my window…" Dean explained casually, continuing to wipe down the bar.

Jo froze and her eyes widened a little in alarm.

"Ok…usually I would laugh at your unfortunate situation…but holy hell Dean, that's freakin scary shit…please tell me you informed the police?"

Dean simply laughed and shook his head, hearing Jo panic like that was actually amusing.

"Actually…I kinda confronted him…he explained his social awkwardness and that he just wants to be my friend…and the following day I found him looking a little lost outside the church…so I may have…"

"What? You may have…what?"

Dean shot a sheepish smile at Jo before answering.

"I may have invited him back to my place for a beer"

"DUDE you are full on crazy…you deserve each other! Why would you do that? This guy sounds totally psycho"

"Actually he's a pretty nice guy…he just wants a friend Jo. Sure ok…I will openly admit the guy is a little strange and totally lacking in social skills, but that doesn't make him a bad guy…I actually kinda like him, in a weird, twisted sorta way...I think I could be a friend to him, ya know? Besides I think you would like him too, given the chance."

Jo shook her head in disbelief and laughed in amusement.

"Alright then…whatever floats your boat…but don't come crying to me when he tries to kill you while you sleep"

Dean simply laughed and lightly punched Jo in the arm.

"Whatever, he's harmless"

The doorbell sounded, signalling a new customer heading into the bar and Dean looked up to see Castiel heading straight for the bar.

Dean couldn't help but smirk, knowing he was right about Castiel and him meeting again very soon. No meet up arranged and no contact details passed between them. Castiel did have a habit of 'just showing up'.

"Well, speak of the devil" Dean declared with a wide smile as Castiel took a seat on the bar stool.

Jo whipped her head around to see 'Trenchcoat boy taking a seat in front of Dean. Castiel glanced in alarm between Jo and Dean, before leaning forward to speak and Dean followed suit, resting his arms on the bar and leaning forward, as though Cas was going to reveal a secret.

"I am NOT the devil, I will never be like Lucifer…would you keep your voice down Dean" Castiel whispered quietly, but enough for Jo to overhear.

She clamped her mouth shut in amusement; trying to hold back her snort of laughter that Dean knew what threatening to burst out. He rolled his eyes and glared at Jo, before turning back to Cas.

"Don't worry man…I know you're not the actual devil…just a figure of speech, relax. Besides there is no devil, he doesn't exsist" Dean finished with a laugh and put a beer down in front of Cas.

"Actually he…"

Jo and Dean both turned back to look at Castiel as he started to speak, but he bowed his head and stared at the beer bottle.

"…Never mind"

Cas reached for the beer and started to chug it down in one go, Dean simply smirked at the memory of the first time he seen this happen a couple of nights back.

Jo on the other hand watched on in fascination as Castiel finished the entire bottle in one go and placed it carefully back on the bar.

"HOLY SHIT…"

She ran over to the bar and picked up the bottle, tipping it upside down to check it was in fact empty and stared up down at Cas.

"…now THAT was impressive. Dude you have won me over, you can drink here anytime…another?"

"That's very nice of you…thank you" Cas responded with a straight face.

Jo beamed at Cas with a bright smile and retrieved another beer, placing it in front of him.

"On the house"

Dean simply laughed.

"See I knew you would like him"

He leant forward and patted Cas on the shoulder before returning to his job.

Castiel spent the final 10 minutes of Dean's shift, watching his human charge and listening to Jo chat happily away at him.

*Now why is this such a bad thing?*


	6. Chapter 6

Castiel had spent a couple of days being introduced to people that Dean knew, it comforted to the angel to see that Dean did actually have more people around him than Castiel originally thought and they were good people, almost family. This included Jo, her mother Ellen and Dean's other boss down at Singer's Autos, Bobby.

Dean had explained these are close friends of the family and old friends of his parents'. They had all found Castiel a little strange, but Bobby had simply shook his head in amusement at Castiel's awkward stance, Jo was slowly becoming used to it and Ellen out rightly said he was a strange kid, but she liked him none the less.

Castiel liked them all, of course he had seen them all before…but Dean didn't have to know that.

The angel had decided to return to heaven the following few days, telling Dean he was going out of town for business, knowing his human would be fine for a few days alone. Castiel wanted to see how things were going with Gabriel and what progress he had made with Sam.

Castiel strolled in content through heaven's garden, but was slowly coming into hearing range of raised voices nearby. He picked up his pace slightly and followed the angry voices to reveal Gabriel and their older archangel brother Michael in a full on shouting match.

"What is going on?" Castiel asked, coming to a stop behind Gabriel.

Gabriel spun around to face Castiel and motioned silently that he should leave.

Michael glared at Castiel and took a step forward, the younger angel immediately took a step back in response. Standing up to Uriel was one thing, but Michael was not only an archangel but their eldest and most powerful brother. Truth be told, aside from Gabriel and Lucifer himself, most angels were afraid of Michael.

"Castiel…finally decide to grace us with your presence…"

Gabriel immediately stepped in front of Michael and held his hands up.

"Don't…just don't ok? Castiel is doing what he believes is right"

Michael simply pushed Gabriel aside in an abrupt manner and stepped up to Castiel, gripping his arm deathly tight. Castiel flinched, his blue eyes widening a considerable amount, knowing full well what Michael was capable of.

"I find out today from Uriel of all angels…that YOU have decided to take it upon yourself to visit earth and act as human in order to get close to your charge? Is this true?"

Castiel nodded quickly.

"Yes, it is"

Michael nodded his head and let out a chilling burst of laughter. He smiled at Castiel and the next thing the youngest angel felt, was a blinding pain in his jaw as he was launched almost 20 feet backwards by the force of Michael's fist.

Castiel coughed violently, blood spilling from his mouth onto the grass below. He looked up in terror to see Michael striding towards him. Castiel noticed Gabriel also curled in a ball further away, figuring his other brother had tried to stop Michael and had gotten himself a beating too for his efforts.

Michael lifted Castiel effortlessly off the ground, one strong hand gripping his younger brother's throat.

"I will not tolerate stupidity or recklessness Castiel, you should know better." He snarled.

"Please Michael…" Castiel choked out, before his brother dropped him to the ground.

"I cannot stop your actions…but I will punish your recklessness. So tread carefully brother"

Castiel watched as Michael disappeared, fear lacing his system and blood still filling his mouth.

A reminder that Castiel shouldn't have bothered rushing home.

O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O

As soon as Castiel returned to earth, his mind was on one person as always. Dean…he just wanted to see Dean.

He knew it was late for humans, but Castiel had nowhere else to go. So at exactly 2am earth time, Castiel knocked hesitantly on Dean's apartment door.

There was some shuffling around and cursing heard on the other side of the door, before it was pulled open to reveal a sleepy looking Dean. His hair was reckless and he wore a baggy t-shirt with sweat pants.

"Cas?" Dean mumbled, rubbing his eyes to wake himself up and he hit the light switch, groaning as the room filled with a glow.

"Hello Dean…I'm sorry I know it's late…" Cas started to speak.

Dean fully opened his eyes and as his vision adjusted, he finally caught sight of just how messed up Castiel looked.

His lip had the most horrifying, bloody cut that Dean had ever seen before, his throat was covered in red finger marks and there was a nasty bruise forming on Cas' jaw. Castiel could heal others, being an angel and all. But when he received any form of nasty beating from another supernatural being, it took a bit longer to heal himself…not much longer, give or take a day. But there was no hiding the marks this soon after the attack.

"Fucking hell Cas, what happened?" Dean asked, horror now filling his face and his eyes widening.

Immediately Dean, pulled Cas inside by his trenchcoat sleeve and shut the door behind him.

"I got into a fight…with my brother. Unfortunately it was a one sided fight" Castiel quipped, a pout forming on his lips.

Dean put his finger under Cas' chin carefully and tilted his head upwards to the light, he inspected the injuries and winced in sympathy.

"Ouch…nice brother you got."

"He is very unpleasant…"

Dean scoffed and shook his head in disbelief.

"You don't say…come on, I've got a first aid kit…I'll try patch you up"

"I'm fine Dean…I just had nowhere else to go. I'm sorry" Castiel said in embarrassment, bowing his head and taking a seat on Dean's couch.

"Hey…don't be sorry…it's fine. Do you need a place to stay?" Dean asked, taking a seat beside Cas.

The angel looked up at Dean and nodded slowly.

"If it's not too much trouble…you would do that for me?"

Dean shrugged and smiled.

"That's what friends are for right?"

Castiel smiled in response, a warm feeling bursting inside of him at Dean's words.

"I'll grab some blankets and a pillow, is the couch OK? If not, you could always take my bed and I'll stay out here?"

"The couch is fine…thank you Dean."

Soon after Dean made up the couch for Cas and handed him some clothes, which Castiel eyed warily.

"What are these?"

"Clothes…"

Dean said with a laugh, as he continued to make the couch comfortable.

"…they're mine, just a pair of sweats and an old tee…they might be a little big, but it's all I got. You can't sleep in that suit and trenchcoat…obviously."

Castiel nodded and stared at the clothing, mulling over what Dean said and thinking inwardly that he doesn't actually sleep, but this might be slightly more comfortable.

"Obviously"

O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O

Castiel and Dean said their goodnights soon after and the angel made his way into Dean's bathroom to get changed 'the human way'.

Once he was dressed in Dean's old t-shirt and sweat pants, which Cas admitted to himself was a lot more comfortable that the suit he wore daily…he made his way back towards the living room, passing Dean's bedroom on the way back.

He noticed Dean's door was open slightly, he peered in and seen the man sound asleep in his bed, like he didn't have a care in the world. Castiel smiled in affection and closed the door over, before returning to the couch.

Castiel wrapped himself in blankets and stared at the ceiling, knowing sleep would never overcome him, he just wasn't use to such a human habit.

He let his mind mull over recent events with Michael, but his thoughts always returned to Dean.

Castiel felt closer to his charge than ever, he was in Dean's home, surrounded by things Dean loves, even dressed in Dean's clothing and the notion was comforting, as was the familiar scent that radiated off the clothes he now wore.

The remainder of Castiel's night was spent snuggling deeper into the clothes, that were in fact too big for him and letting his mind grace the more pleasant things in life, not about the horrors he had faced earlier that day.


	7. Chapter 7

Castiel sat up on Dean's couch, the clock now read 8am and he could hear shuffling coming from Dean's bedroom, signalling the Winchester was up.

The bedroom door flew open and Dean stumbled out into the living area. Cas stood up from his position on the couch and made his way into the Winchester kitchen after Dean.

Cas noticed Dean had lost the t-shirt he wore last night somewhere along the way and was now stood simply in a pair of very low slung sweat pants. The angel coughed awkwardly, signalling that he was present.

"Good morning Dean"

Dean spun around, glass of water now in his hand and leant lazily against the kitchen counter, letting out a lopsided sleepy smile.

"Morning Cas, sleep well?"

The angel couldn't help but let his eyes drift down Dean's perfectly toned torso; he always had a high appreciation of the human form…especially where Dean was concerned. Cas flinched when Dean spoke, looking up to meet the other mans eyes with a slight blush but noticed Dean was now busying himself with putting his glass in the sink and probably hadn't noticed Cas' stare.

"Yes…I slept…well, thank you"

Dean turned and smiled at Cas, nodding in acknowledgement before reaching into the cupboard to retrieve a large frying pan.

"Breakfast?"

"Umm yes…ok…breakfast sounds ok…" Cas stuttered, knowing full well he didn't need to eat but he would happily accept Dean's offer.

Immediately he noticed Dean's eyes go wide and suddenly the Winchester was in his personal bubble, almost nose to nose with Cas.

"Dean…what…"

"How the hell is that possible…" Dean stared at Cas' lip, shock written all over his features.

"…The cut on your lip…it's practically gone and the bruise…and the marks on your neck have disappeared…what the actual hell Cas"

Dean reached out cupping Cas' chin gently and moving his head from side to side to inspect. The angel blushed at the touch and bit his lip as realization hit him that his injuries probably healed over night and that was NOT human at all.

"Oh how strange…I do tend to heal faster than most. I'm lucky in that respect"

Castiel plastered on a small re-assuring smile, hoping Dean would accept his explanation. Dean simply raised his eyebrow in curiosity before letting his hand drop from Cas' chin and he backed up slightly shaking his head.

"That's freaky shit dude…wish I healed that fast, I'm constantly injuring myself in work…I just get left with scars…"

Dean set about collecting some items from his cupboard, still shaking his head in disbelief and shooting the occasional curious look back to Cas, who shifted uncomfortably on the spot.

"…but I'm glad. That you're ok…you are ok right?" Dean asked, turning to face the angel.

"I'm fine Dean…I'll be ok." Cas replied with a smile, his heart leaping ecstatically at how much Dean actually seemed to care about him.

"Good…right now…breakfast, pancakes ok?" Dean said with a smile.

Castiel nodded and smiled in return.

"I've heard of pancakes…they sound good…"

Dean scoffed at Cas' statement and laughed, looking a little bewildered.

"Well duh…be a little weird if you hadn't heard of pancakes"

"Oh of course…my brother he frequently eats them I believe, even though he has no need for food…" Castiel immediately snapped his mouth shut after he spoke, realizing that sounded particularly odd. This wasn't his morning for being discreet.

"Everyone needs to eat man, is this the same dick of a brother that did that to you?" Dean asked, motioning with a spatula to Cas' face and the angel felt rather thankful that Dean shrugged off his strange comment, seemingly the Winchester was growing accustomed to Cas' weirdness.

"No…this is one of my other brothers Gabriel, we are close…he would never hurt me…" Castiel said with confidence, earning a small smile from Dean.

"…Gabriel often eats pancakes covered in a lot of syrup…"

"Man after my own heart" Dean declared with a wide grin, continuing to prepare breakfast.

"…well syrup and I believe…whipped cream and a lot of sugar….occasionally some sprinkles and sometimes a large helping of honey"

Dean stopped and turned to Cas with an amused look on his face.

"Wow…ok maybe I'm not quite that bad, that's some sickly sweet pancakes"

"He is known to have a sweet tooth" Castiel said with affection, his head bowing and a small smile gracing his lips.

"Nice…go sit down man, I'll bring them in" Dean prompted.

Cas nodded and sat back down on the couch, perfectly content with watching Dean's bare back as he flipped the pancakes.

A loud ringing sound erupted somewhere near Castiel and he jumped slightly, tilting his head at the phone on the coffee table.

"Ummm Dean?"

"Yeah that's mine…I got it…" Dean said, rushing into the living area and retrieving his phone.

"Yello…"

Cas watched as Dean served up the pancakes, his phone now pressed between his shoulder and ear.

"Sammy?"

Immediately the angel sat up straight and kept his eyes firmly on Dean's face, as his lips turned up into the brightest smile Castiel had seen in a long while.

"It's good to hear from you Sammy…how's college? You settled in?"

Castiel watched with a small smile on his face as Dean continued to speak with his little brother; the angel mentally thanked his own brother Gabriel, for giving Sam that extra push in the right direction.

As a result, Dean couldn't have been happier to hear from Sam and this made Castiel happy too.

O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O

Dean had sat through breakfast wearing the biggest smile and rambled on to Cas about how Sam was doing at college, the angel simply listened in content and smiled at Dean's rambling.

"I wanna do something today; you wanna do something….I feel like doing something!" Dean said happily, putting the dishes in the sink and making a mental note to sort them out later.

Castiel couldn't help but laugh at Dean's hyper mood.

"Doing…something sounds good"

"I have a couple of days off so let's go crazy…unless, you have other plans or work? I didn't even think to ask, sorry man…if you're busy just ignore me…" Dean finished his sentence with a shy smile, realizing he just assumed Cas had nothing better to do.

Seeing Dean's posture change suddenly and the smile drop slightly, Castiel immediately shook his head.

"No…no I'm not busy at all, I'd love to spend the day with you Dean"

Dean smiled brightly in response and headed off to get a shower, insisting Cas can borrow some of his clothes, cause there was no way Dean would let him wear that suit again.

Castiel simply smiled in response, looking forward to the day ahead.

O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O

Dean had managed to pack the most activities into one day and Cas had been surprised that was even possible.

They ended up grabbing lunch, before heading to see some pretty awful action movie, then Dean insisted on going for a long drive in the impala which lead them to an old abandoned house and Dean insisted on checking it out, his good mood getting the better of him as he pretended to hunt ghosts. When they had heard a loud bang, Dean was convinced the place was haunted and Cas couldn't help but think how wrong Dean was, but smiled none the less and let the Winchester have his moment.

On the way back they had stopped to eat some more and Cas found the task of eating quite enjoyable, Dean insisted this particular place did the best bacon cheeseburgers and pie, Castiel agreed although he had nowhere to compare it to.

In short this was the best day of Castiel's life and it wasn't about to end there.

That was how they wound up back at the Roadhouse and Dean made it his mission to get Castiel drunk.

Jo wasn't working tonight, but Ash was on the bar which still meant Dean didn't have to pay a penny for their drinks. Ash was a cool dude and respected Dean's decision to get another guy intoxicated after Castiel insisted he didn't really drink.

Several shots, a table full of beers, two large bottles of whiskey and a whole three hours later…Dean was completely wasted and Castiel? The alcohol had barely touched him, granted he was feeling slightly drunk by this point but he didn't have the heart to tell Dean it would take a whole liquor store before Cas felt it to the extreme.

"So Cassss….you gonna tells me about thish dickwad brothers of yours?" Dean slurred, holding up his beer and pointing the bottle at Cas.

"Not much to tell…Michael is…harsh, always has been. I suppose he felt as though he should take on our father's role when he disappeared"

Dean scoffed, mumbling something that resembled 'jackass' before necking the rest of his beer.

Castiel watched in amusement as Dean swayed slightly in his seat.

Ash headed for their table and joined Castiel in casting an amused smile in Dean's direction.

"Woah man, I think you hit your limit like…an hour ago." Ash said with a laugh, starting to collect the many bottles that lay on the table.

"ASH! Man…I'm sooo good right now, you know Sammy called? Did I tell you he called today…was aweshome…"

"Yeah you said bro, good for you…"

Ash clapped Dean on the back who smiled widely in response.

"…Maybe you should take him home"

Ash motioned to Cas, who nodded, beginning to stand up.

"Pft im fineee, dunno whats you're trying to shaaay man…" Dean slurred and looked up at Cas.

"…dude you got tall"

Cas chuckled and Ash threw him a smile, before heading back to the bar.

"Come on Dean, let's get you home" Castiel said, resisting the urge to simply zap them back in record time to Dean's apartment. They would have to get back the 'human way'.

"Home…sounds good…"

Dean started to stand up as best he could, using Cas' as leverage, who held onto Dean's arm tightly and helped him balance.

"…You're awesomesss and you're SO drunks its unreal"

Castiel laughed and nodded, feeling slightly lightheaded himself as he helped Dean out of the bar.

O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O

Castiel had no clue how he managed to get him and Dean back to the apartment safely without using his angel mojo.

The angel was also feeling a little unsteady on his feet, they managed to walk the distance back somehow and Cas couldn't help but think it was a good job he was strong enough to hold a 6ft something, drunk guy steady enough to make it home.

When they got inside Dean's apartment, he crashed on his couch and pulled Castiel down by the arm next to him, laughing hysterically.

"Ah man…this has been the best day ever" Dean declared loudly with a fist pump in the air for added effect.

Castiel agreed and simply watched as Dean smiled to himself, his drunken mind clearly trying to focus on something.

"I still don't know enough abouts you Cassshhh…do you have a girlfriend?"

The angel stiffened slightly and simply shook his head, mumbling a 'no'.

"Ahh that's sucks…I don't either…or a boyfriend…I'm not picky." Dean said, waving his hand dismissively in the air.

Cas didn't question any further, he knew from watching Dean over the years that he was into both men and women, Cas felt no need to press the issue further especially when Dean was this drunk.

"You're awesomes, did I ever tell you that…"

Dean said loudly, turning his body fully so he could face Cas.

The angel smile and nodded.

"Yes, you have said it quite frequently today"

"…Good, cause you need to know how awesomeee you are man, I mean you're so fucking weird it's unreal, but I like that…I like you, you're such a good friend to me Cas"

"And you are to me Dean, thank you." Cas replied, feeling humbled and warm inside at Dean's drunken declaration.

The Winchester nodded and smirked, leaning further into Cas and causing the angel to tense slightly at the close proximity.

"You know…that stupid suit you wear? It doesn't do you jus…just…it doesn't look greats…s'what I'm trying to say…"

Dean reached for the t-shirt Castiel was wearing; it was one Dean had leant him this morning, one of his favourite Def Leppard tees in fact. He took a pinch of the material and pulled at it.

"…now this…this looks better. Ok so it's totally mine and I have awesome taste…but it looks good on you…"

Castiel blushed, sitting perfectly still and letting Dean Finger the material of the t-shirt, noticing Dean's other hand now fell to rest on Cas' jean covered knee. The angel gulped his heart racing faster as Dean's displays of affections got more frequent.

"…Man Cas…it just looks…"

Dean gulped and shifted closer, his hand riding further up Cas' thigh. He pulled on the t-shirt and caused Cas to stumble forward slightly, their lips a breath away from each other and the angel's eyes widened at the closeness.

"…you look so fucking sexy"

Dean finished his words, pulling Cas forward and crashing their lips together. The angel froze, his eyes wide at the sudden contact and not knowing how to respond. Dean simply pushed his lips hard against Cas' for a moment, before his eyes snapped open at the realization he was getting nothing back.

He pulled away from Cas and the angel stared at Dean with wide eyes, panting heavily and gulping loudly.

"Oops, shit…fuck…I'm sorry man…" Dean slurred, wincing slightly at his own drunken move.

"Dean…"

He looked up at the sound of his name and that's all he could register, before Castiel gripped the back of his neck and pulled Dean towards him, crashing their lips together once more.

Dean moaned into the kiss, as Castiel moved his lips against his own before pulling back slightly.

"Well dayum Cas" Dean said with a smirk, before dragging the angel back in.

The kiss was drunken, inexperienced from Cas' end and kind of sloppy, but neither cared. Dean managed to fight his way past the angel's lips and surge his tongue forward, battling with Castiel's as the kiss deepened.

Cas moaned shamelessly into the kiss, causing vibrations to trickle down Dean's spine and he moaned in response, gripping a fistful of Cas' hair, pulling him closer. They made out for about 2 minutes, before Dean finally had to desperately break for air.

He rested his forehead against Cas' with a lazy smile plastered on his face.

"Fuck me that was awesome" He breathed out, before letting his head fall on Cas' shoulder.

When Dean didn't make another move, Cas jiggled his shoulder slightly and poked Dean.

"Dean...Dean?"

A loud snore sounded and the angel sighed loudly, realizing the other man had passed out.

Cas couldn't help but smile to himself, as he placed two fingers to Dean's forehead and in a split second, they were in Dean's bedroom.

He placed Dean's sleeping form on the bed and covered him with blankets; Castiel smiled looking down at his charge. His heart was still beating rapidly and his insides felt like they were on fire.

The angel smiled widely, leaning down and placing a long kiss on Dean's forehead, before heading out of the bedroom and closing the door behind him.

He felt ridiculously giddy; the urge to smile wouldn't disappear as he walked back into the living room. It was the first time Castiel had felt such wonderful feelings and he never wanted it to stop.

Everything Castiel had ever wanted seemed to be coming true.


	8. Chapter 8

Castiel was busy fumbling around Dean's kitchen, attempting to make coffee and not having the best of luck.

He finally found the tub of coffee beans and pulled a little too hard on the lid. Suddenly the entire contents exploded into the air, raining down over Cas and over Dean's kitchen floor.

That's the moment when Dean chose to open his door and make his appearance; Cas froze in place holding the now empty tub and blushed, while Dean watched amused by the situation.

"I tried to make you coffee…I see now that I failed…miserably. Sorry Dean" Cas said quietly and earning a light chuckle from the Winchester.

"Don't sweat it dude, I feel like hell anyway and would probably bring the coffee right back up again." Dean mumbled, a small smile tugging his lips as he dodged the coffee beans on the tiles.

He groaned loudly, reaching for aspirin hidden away in the cupboard and Cas busied himself by crouching on the floor trying to collect up the beans.

"How's your head?" Cas enquired from the floor, glancing up at Dean.

"Feels like someone is hitting me with a large hammer…repeatedly, yours?"

"I feel ok, thank you"

There was a moment of awkward silence and Dean cleared is throat before crouching down beside Cas on the floor, causing the angel to jump.

"Hey it's ok…just leave it Cas, I'll clean it up later"

"It's my mess…I will sort it out" Cas replied with a small smile, his heart leaping at the closeness and memories of last night filling his mind.

"Dude really…"

"Honestly I can do it"

Dean scoffed and nodded, before standing up and leaning heavily against the kitchen counter, groaning again loudly and burying his face in his hands.

He watched Cas pick up the coffee beans carefully and couldn't help but smile, Cas just did that to him…all the time lately, made him smile. Of course Dean remembered everything from last night; he may get hangovers but the one thing Dean never does when drunk…is forget.

The details were a little hazy, but Dean could have sworn he remembered Castiel kissing him back and yet the other man was keeping the whole thing close to his chest this morning, so either he didn't remember or he didn't want to remember and that made Dean's stomach turn.

"Hey umm Cas?"

"Yes Dean" The angel said, stopping what he was doing and looking up at the other man with wide, almost hopeful eyes. Desperately hoping Dean would bring up the kiss.

"Do you remember anything from last night?"

Cas stood up slowly and his eyes darted around the kitchen in a nervous display.

"I umm…are you saying you don't?"

"Are you saying you do? Cause it's a little hazy for me…just wanna check I didn't do anything…you know…that you weren't comfortable with or maybe I said something that was out of line…you can tell me…" Dean rambled, rubbing the back of his neck.

"It's a little hazy for me too…I don't know…"

"Well I don't really remember much, maybe you could enlighten me?" Dean pushed, hoping Cas would approach the subject.

Castiel's stomach immediately dropped at Dean's statement.

*He doesn't remember*

The angel panicked, not wanting to tell Dean what occurred in case he threw it back in Cas' face as a huge mistake and he didn't know if he could handle that kind of rejection from his charge.

"Me either…I don't remember anything…sorry"

"Nothing?"

"No…nothing, you?"

"Nope not a thing"

They both fell silent and shifted uncomfortably on their feet, before Dean declared he was going to take a shower.

As soon as Dean left the room, Cas returned to the living room and flopped down on the couch, letting out a huge sigh. A hurtful pang sitting right over his heart, he always was emotional for an angel.

Dean reached the bathroom in a hurry and slammed the door shut, immediately leaning back against it and pressing his lips together in thought.

*Dammit Winchester, man up*

He swiped a hand over his face, a million thoughts and what if's racing through his head.

*What if Castiel did feel the same?

I should have told him.

Why didn't I tell him I remembered everything?

Why didn't I tell him how much I want him?

What if I had told him and had been rejected.

I couldn't have taken it.

I don't want to ruin the friendship we have…

Yeah, that's exactly why I didn't tell him.

Feelings aside, this was the best option.*

O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O

Dean returned to his living room 20 minutes later, showered and changed to find the clothes Cas had been wearing folded neatly on the couch, a note attached.

Thank you for yesterday…I had fun. See you soon. Castiel

The Winchester dropped to the couch, tears stinging the back of his eyes.

*DID Cas remember and now he's freaked out?*

He groaned again, the heavy feeling in his stomach from too much alcohol now seemingly worse after reading Cas' note.

O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O

"Gabriel I need to speak with you"

Castiel appeared before his brother in heaven, now back in his usual suit and trenchcoat.

"Cassie, good to see ya bro, thought you would be steering clear of this place for a while?"

"I…need some alone time…away from earth…away from Dean"

"Uh oh…trouble?"

Gabriel watched as Cas sat down stiffly on a chair opposite him and leant forward, resting his elbows on knees, looking thoughtfully at his joined hands.

"I may have made a mistake with Dean…"

"Go on…" Gabe pushed, his curiosity peaking.

"We spent the day together yesterday…he took me to a bar and he got very drunk and we…I mean he…kissed me…then I kissed him back…now he doesn't remember anything and I didn't want to approach the subject in case it was a mistake…"

"WOAH cowboy…slow the heck down would ya! You and Dean KISSED?"

Castiel glanced a look up to his brother shyly.

"Yes."

"WAY TO GO CASSIE! Man it's about freakin time…how long have you been in love with the Winchester now…since forever!" Gabriel chimed loudly, a big grin filling his face.

"You don't understand, this is not good…Dean doesn't remember and I don't think he would want to…"

Gabriel frowned in confusion and shook his head.

"Why the heck not? He made the first move right?"

"Well yes…but he was intoxicated…besides why would he want me" Castiel said, looking sadly to the ground.

His brother was soon next to him, throwing an arm around Cas' shoulders and chuckling.

"N'aww Castiel you break my heart…you've been an angel to Dean…literally. Anyways just because he was intoxicated doesn't mean it was a mistake…"

Castiel looked up at his brother and raised an eyebrow, tilting his head in confusion.

"See Cas…the human's have this phrase…'the truth always comes out when you're drunk'…so whether Dean remembers or not…doesn't mean he didn't and still doesn't secretly want it. Maybe he just needs a little push in the right direction. I mean what did you say when he told you he didn't remember?"

Cas averted his gaze, his eyes darting everywhere but at Gabriel.

"I lied…I'm not proud of it, lying is a sin…but I panicked. I told him I didn't remember either"

"DUDE you suck…you should have grabbed the poor bastard and snogged his pretty face off and MADE him remember…jeeez Castiel."

"I resent that…I do not…suck. Besides I was in fear of rejection"

When Cas' puppy dog eyes made an appearance, Gabriel immediately softened and rolled his eyes.

"Alright fine…so you're both a couple of idjits…but you have to face each other eventually, running away will make things worse."

Castiel nodded and stood abruptly, dusting down his coat.

"I know…I just need a couple of days alone with my thoughts. Could you watch over Dean for me?"

Gabriel nodded in reply and Cas smiled, walking out of the room.

"Everything will work out Cassie…you'll see…"

O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O

Dean stomped around the Roadhouse, slamming the empty bottles on the bar and stalking back over to the tables to wipe them down.

"Alright…that's it…I've had enough" Jo declared, throwing her own cloth down on the bar and fixing Dean with a glare, her arms crossed in annoyance.

"What? Are you talkin to me?" Dean asked, frowning in Jo's direction.

"Yeah I'm talking to you, I don't see any other miserable, moping son of a bitch around here, do you?"

"HEY, what the hell is that supposed to mean…" Dean protested, stalking back to the bar in anger.

"You know what…three freakin days Winchester…three days I have had to put up with this moody, petty little child who keeps slamming around the place and scaring away customers…we used to have this guy who worked here…charming, handsome and real friendly…his name was Dean, seen him around anywhere?"

Dean pouted and dropped his cloth on the bar, crossing his arms.

"Sorry" he mumbled.

"Ok, what gives? You missing Sam? Cause you know he's only on the other end of a phone…"

"It's not Sammy…"

"Then what Dean…Is it Castiel? Haven't seen him around in a couple of days…he's usually attached to your side lately"

Dean averted his eyes from Jo's and sat down on the bar stool with a loud sigh.

"So it is about Castiel…you guys have a fight? He go all stalker on you again? What?"

"We may have…engaged in an umm…a drunken kiss the other night" Dean stuttered out, refusing to look at Jo and instead opting for peeling the label off an empty beer bottle.

"WHAT? Holy shit…well actually I'm not all that surprised…you always did fall for the strange ones…remember Lisa?" Jo said with a chuckle.

"Hey…there was nothing wrong with Lisa" Dean protested, now pointing a finger at Jo.

"Oh yeah crazy bitch only tried to make you believe the devil spawn she produced was yours…even though you guys hadn't even done it yet…but whatever…" Jo mumbled, waving her arms in the air.

Dean glared at his friend and returned to picking at the label.

"Shut up…besides, Cas isn't THAT strange"

"Ha, right…at least he's hot…"

Dean shot her another glare and she held her hands up in defence, amused by Dean's sudden jealous glow.

"…so this kiss? Was it good… was he good? Did you use tongue? Did you get to second base…"

"Slow down would ya, you're giving me a headache…I kissed him first, I was totally wasted…I think I called him 'sexy'…then I remember him pulling me back in to kiss again…and yes it was…god it was amazing, we made out for a little while…then things got a little black after that…"

"Black?"

"I think I passed out on him"

Jo immediately burst into laughter, clutching her stomach and earning another death glare.

"Awww I'm sorry but poor Castiel…you left him high and dry. So what happened the next day?"

"That's the thing…he didn't mention it…so I figured he didn't want to talk about it…so I pretended I didn't remember anything…hoping he would enlighten me, but he said the same…it went a little awkward and when I came out of the shower he was gone…haven't seen him in the 3 days"

"You…You…"

Jo gaped at Dean, before launching forward and slapping him across the head.

"OW what the hell was that for?"

"For being such a CHILD! What the hell is wrong with you…you're such a little chicken shit, you know that?"

"Hey…I don't even know if he's into guys ok…I panicked and didn't wanna be knocked back…besides maybe its better this way…at least our friendship is safe…"

Jo rolled her eyes and leant forward on the bar, Dean flinched slightly fearing she would slap him again.

"Ok dumbass…number one…he kissed you back, so he's CLEARLY into guys and more than likely into YOU…and two…not much of a friendship now is it? Have you called him?"

"He doesn't have a phone…he just kinda shows up…"

"But he hasn't for three days? Why?"

"Hell if I know…a million things have gone through my head Jo…I thought maybe he started to remember…maybe he freaked out and fled…I dunno" Dean finished, mumbling and banging his head on the bar in frustration.

"You guys need your heads examining…seriously. Well at least try and lighten up yeah? You're bad for business"

"Gee thanks"

"You're welcome" Jo replied with a sweet smile, turning on her heels and heading to the back office.

Dean was left to drown in his self pity at the bar.

O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O

On day number five, Castiel finally made an appearance at the Roadhouse.

The bar was busy and Dean was rushing around serving customers, it was Jo that first noticed Cas' entrance and nudged Dean in the back.

The Winchester turned to see Castiel approaching the bar and his heart leapt into his throat.

"Hello Dean"

Dean gaped at him for a moment, before motioning to a quieter side of the bar and Cas followed.

"Hello Dean? Hello Dean? You disappear off the face of the earth, left without so much as a goodbye…and all I get is hello Dean?"

"My apologies…I was away on business, it was unavoidable…I left a note"

Dean rolled his eyes and glared at Cas.

"Oh well of course, a note…silly me, how could I forget. Dude it's been five days…I thought…"

Castiel tilted his head, blue eyes mapping out Dean's face freckle for freckle and inwardly thinking how much he had missed his charge.

"You thought what?"

"Nothing…look maybe we should talk later, my place? I got some stuff I need to say…get off my chest"

"I'm not on your chest?" Castiel asked, confusion creasing his brow.

Dean couldn't help but laugh, god he missed this and it had only been five days.

"It's a figure of…you know what, it doesn't matter…just meet me at the apartment after my shift? I get off here at midnight."

"Of course, I'll wait for you…I have some things I would like to say too" Castiel admitted, a small smile tugging his lips.

"Alright…that's good…good, I'll see you then?"

"Yes…good."

"Good, fine"

"Fine"

With a final awkward nod and a smile, Castiel left the bar and Dean willed his shift to end.

O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O

Dean returned home after his shift to find Castiel stood obediently at his doorway.

"Hey Cas, sorry I got here as fast as I could" Dean said, leaning past the angel to unlock his door.

"Its fine Dean, I'm happy to wait"

They both walked into the apartment and Dean turned, letting out a small smile.

"Kinda got caught up…"

Dean held up his hand, showing a rather large bloody cut right down the middle of his palm.

Cas' eyes widened and he took a step forward and grabbed Dean's wrist lightly, inspecting the deep cut.

"You're hurt"

"…bar brawl. Some folks just didn't wanna go home to the Mrs" Dean said with a chuckle.

"…I'll be fine, had worse"

The angel held back the urge to heal Dean's hand, instead shaking his head and prompting Dean to sit on the couch.

"Where is your first aid kit?"

"Cas it's cool I can do it…"

"You said you had a first aid kit…where is it?" Cas insisted, his eyes boring hard into Dean's.

"Top of the cabinet on the left" Dean replied with a sigh, sitting back on the couch.

Castiel returned with the first aid kit, shrugging off his trenchcoat and suit jacket, rolling up the sleeves on his white shirt. He sat next to Dean and began to dig through the green box for bandages.

Dean watched Cas as he rummaged determined through the first aid kit in search of what he needed to patch Dean up 'the human way'.

"All ready to operate on me Doc?" Dean asked, amusement lacing his voice.

Cas' eyes shot up and caught with Dean's for a moment, he gulped and Dean couldn't help but notice the blush that crept up the other mans face.

"Give me your hand Dean" Castiel said, returning his gaze to the cut.

Dean held out his hand, Cas gripped his wrist lightly and rested Dean's hand on his knee, setting to work washing down the wound, managing to pick out traces of glass.

Dean watched him intently, letting his green eyes sketch out Cas' features up close while the other man was focusing on bandaging up the wounded hand.

"There…that should hold" Castiel said, letting his fingers brush lightly over the now bandaged hand.

Cas couldn't bring himself to look up, knowing Dean was focused on him.

The silence felt long and drawn out, Cas simply stared at Dean's hand resting on his knee, fingering the bandage lightly and listening to Dean's shaky breath next to him.

"Look Cas…I umm…I wanted to talk to you about the other night…"

Dean cleared his throat, taking a deep breath as he started speaking and Castiel simply tensed up at Dean's serious edge.

"What about it?"

"…I kinda have a confession to make…I should have been honest with you…ah man, this is hard…I don't usually…"

Castiel finally forced himself to look up, noticing Dean was struggling to talk about whatever it is he needed to say and nodded his head in encouragement. He knew from watching over him that Dean was never any good at spilling his emotions or feelings.

"…I do remember what happened that night. I'm sorry; I shouldn't have lied to you."

Dean bowed his head, pressing his lips together and waiting for a response. The angel's eyes widened and he gaped for a moment.

"You do?"

Dean nodded in reply, keeping his head bowed.

"Then I suppose I should confess too…I also remember what happened"

This caused Dean and Cas' eyes to finally meet, the Winchester frowned and shook his head.

"I knew it…that's why you ran off wasn't it? I ruined everything…you freaked out and you ran…I'm so sorry Cas"

"What? No Dean…you didn't…" Castiel shook his head rapidly, panic flooding him from the inside out as Dean started to ramble.

"I did…I knew it…you're probably not even into dudes and then I go and kiss you…ruining any kind of friendship we were starting to build…and I don't wanna lose you Cas…"

"You won't lose me Dean, you could never lose me…you have it all wrong…please…"

Dean rambled once more, standing up and pacing the living room, ignoring Cas' protests. The angel sat on the couch watching the other man pacing in frustration.

"I just…dammit I couldn't help myself…I like you…"

"You like me?" Cas muttered, a small smile tugging his lips.

"…I like you so much. You have been so good to me…you came along at the right time, when I needed someone and I was drunk, my confidence was up and I just went for it…and shit I'm sorry, I don't wanna ruin anything…but all I can think about right now…is how badly I wanna kiss you"

Dean stopped in his tracks and looked down at Castiel, who was staring up at him wide eyed.

"Then what are you waiting for?"

Castiel spoke quietly, his eyes glazing over with un-cried tears and emotion. Dean gaped in response, before hauling himself clumsily on the couch next to Cas.

Dean immediately cupped the sides of Cas' face and their lips met in a passionate kiss. The angel responded straight away, his hands gripping Dean's shoulders tight as they deepened the kiss.

Castiel moaned in relief, they pulled apart and panted heavily. Dean smiled into Cas' eyes and the angel returned the smile with all the genuine emotion that he had to give.

Dean gulped loudly, before pulling away and standing up, presenting his hand to Castiel. The angel felt a surge of lust rush through his system and soon enough he was taking Dean's hand, being led to the bedroom.


	9. Chapter 9

Dean closed the bedroom door behind him, leaning against it and watching as Castiel scanned the room before turning to face Dean.

Their eyes locked for a moment, Cas' breath catching in his throat and Dean gulped at the intensity of the stare between them.

"Are you…are you sure about this?" Dean asked hesitantly, hoping Cas wasn't ready to change his mind.

Quicker than humanly possible Castiel was on Dean, pushing him hard against the door and lips crashing together, it was hard, fierce and short before Castiel pulled away panting.

"Don't ask stupid questions"

Dean grinned in response, grabbing the back of Cas' neck, fisting his hair and pulling him in for a longer kiss, reversing their positions and pinning Cas against the door instead.

Even though the angel was stronger, he happily let Dean man handle him and take complete control of the kiss, tongues tying together beautifully.

Dean's lips moved from Castiel's lips, tracing across his jaw line and neck, leaving small kisses, licks and bites.

"Ohhh Dean…you have no idea how long…I've wanted this…wanted you" Cas stuttered out his words between breaths, loving the attention Dean was paying to his neck.

The Winchester hummed in approval, slotting his leg between Cas' legs and moving his hands down to grip the angel's hips for support, before grinding forward.

Cas felt a surge of sensations that he had never felt before, that he didn't think possible and the fact it was DEAN doing this to him made it even better. He moaned loudly, feeling Dean's leg grind against his covered erection and Cas couldn't help but buck forward, in turn managing to grind his hip against Dean and there was no mistaking the hardness he could feel from Dean's side too.

Dean drew his lips abruptly from Cas' neck and gasped loudly as the angel grinded back against him harder and faster, their eyes met in a flurry of lust, both men panting and moaning obscenely, suddenly the urgency was increased.

Before Dean had time to register, he was thrown on the bed and being straddled by a now incredibly horny Castiel, who clearly knew what he wanted.

Cas looked him straight in the eye and purposely ground his hips against Dean's hard and dirty, practically growling from pleasure that shot through his system and soon enough his mouth was back on Deans.

The angel went above human strength for a moment, using a deeper force to latch onto Dean's wrists and pin them above his head, while Cas continued to grind down and ravage Deans mouth, nipping at swollen lips.

Usually Dean wouldn't bottom for anybody, especially not another guy but his brain was too clouded with lust and with Castiel to care. He moaned into their kiss in approval bringing his hips up to meet with Cas' as he ground down against him.

Castiel broke the kiss and smirked at Dean, one hand keeping both of Dean's wrists in place and the other now trailing down the clothed body below him in fascination, his dark blue eyes now tracing his own movement.

Dean tried to wriggle his wrists from Cas, desperately wanting to return the touches, but found that he quite literally couldn't move them and it threw him for a second, how someone like Cas would hold that kind of inhumane strength.

His thoughts were short lived when Cas' hand ghosted over the hard bulge in his jeans, before pressing down and palming at the erection. Dean arched into Cas' hand, moaning loudly and shamelessly, silently begging for more.

"Oh God…Cas please…we so need to lose the clothes now, come on man" Dean moaned, the angel's head shooting up for a second and choosing to ignore the blasphemy, in favour of cupping Dean harder and watching the pleasure shoot over the mans features.

Castiel smiled in satisfaction, knowing he was taking apart Dean Winchester and those pleasured sounds leaving those perfectly formed lips, they were because of HIM.

He removed his hand, moving close to Dean's ear and licking tenderly at his ear lobe.

"Tell me how much you want this Dean" Castiel whispered into Dean's ear, giving his ear lobe a small nip in encouragement.

"You have no fucking idea…I want this so much, please Cas"

"Do you want me Dean?" Cas asked, pulling back so he could meet with Deans eyes.

Dean nodded rapidly, eyes boring straight into the angels.

"Hell yeah…I want you, Cas I want you so much"

Castiel's stomach flipped in excitement, Dean wanted him and that's all Cas has ever wanted.

Soon enough clothes were thrown across the room, in an urgent attempt to just be naked with each other and when they finally reached their goal, Cas' eyes wandered over Deans body, pliant and needy below him.

Dean out right shivered as he watched Cas' lustful eyes examine him in all his glory, fingers teasingly tracing muscles and causing them to twitch under the treatment.

"You are…amazing" Castiel sighed, his fingers slowly tracing over Deans hard cock.

"Ah fuck" Dean moaned loudly, the friction and the touch, not quite enough to get him to where he needed to be, but the slow trace of Cas' fingers showing promise. He needed more.

Dean hooked his leg behind Cas', catching the angel off guard and managing to flip them over so he was above Cas instead.

Castiel seemed to approve, his whole body shivering at the sudden turn around and looking up with a smirk to Dean.

"I think it's my time to…explore, don't ya think?" Dean said seductively, with an added wiggle of his eyebrows.

Cas nodded rapidly, serious expression lacing his features as he gulped loudly and watched wide eyed as Dean moved down his body, placing chaste kisses along his naked torso.

"Mmmm Dean…that feels…Ah…that feels very good" Cas moaned and panted, his hips arching, trying to gain friction.

When he felt Deans hands hold his hips back down in an attempt to slow Cas' movements, the angel obeyed and let Dean continue his exploration.

The special attention Dean paid to licking and caressing Cas' hipbones was driving the angel wild, he struggled to keep his hips down as Dean nibbled closer to his obvious choice of destination.

Cas' heart rate sped up as Dean moved towards his achingly hard cock, the moment Dean's tongue and lips reached for the tip of Cas' erection all bets were off and the angel couldn't help but buck violently off the bed, straight into Deans wet mouth.

Dean choked for a moment in shock, not expecting Cas to be quite that sensitive. He took a moment to regain himself and surged his mouth back onto Cas' cock, using his tongue along the way to drive the angel below him crazy.

The light bulb on the ceiling above exploded with a great amount of force and Cas' eyes went wide, realising his angel mojo was pushing to the forefront. Dean immediately shot his head up, releasing Cas and stared up at the exploded bulb in shock.

"What the hell was that" he said in shock, mouth gaping up, before looking back to the angel.

"Nothing…I don't know…it doesn't matter…please don't stop Dean" Cas rambled, fisting at Deans hair, moaning loudly and pushing lightly on his head.

Dean shook his head, before chuckling at Cas' begging and smirking up at him, before taking the head of the angels cock into his mouth once more and sucking harshly.

"Ohhh Dean…yes!" Cas yelled, arching off the bed and trying hard to keep his inner angel from destroying the room.

The Winchester extracted himself with an obscene pop, before kissing his way back up Cas' body. The angel looked at him with wide lustful eyes, his breathing unsteady and shaky.

"Why…why did you stop?" Cas asked hesitantly, disappointment filling him up.

"Gonna make it so much better Cas, don't worry…"

Dean hummed, smiling down at him and leaning to whisper in his ear.

"…I need to be inside you Castiel"

The angel shivered, watching Dean with stunned eyes as he pulled back and simply nodded once.

"Take me Dean"

In Dean's mind, that was quite possibly the cheesiest line plucked straight out of a porno movie and yet coming out of Cas' mouth, it seemed different and the guy was deadly serious.

Dean Winchester did not need to be told twice.

He latched back onto Cas' lips, kissing him hungrily and letting their tongues fight for dominance, before the angel let Dean take the reigns.

Dean took his time prepping Cas, stretching him out with lubed up fingers and watching the man beneath him moan and writhe.

Cas knew Dean was being gentle and didn't want to hurt him, while that was incredibly endearing to the angel he was way beyond the bounds of pleasure to care and his angel status pretty much meant he could take that sort of pain easily. His breathing was now at an alarming rate as Dean's fingers fucked him open and he pushed down urgently against the hand.

"Enough, please Dean…I need you…that's enough"

The man above him gulped loudly, staring down at Cas and smiling, before leaning forward and kissing him forcefully.

Cas felt a hard bluntness pushing at his entrance and he gasped, pulling back from Dean.

His eyes gazed lustfully into the green ones above and he nodded that he was ready.

Dean pushed inside of Cas, slowly at first but not stopping until he was fully seated in side of the angel. He groaned loudly at the pressure surrounding his cock and buried his head in Cas' neck, kissing lazily at the skin there.

The angel moaned at that full feeling, suddenly in his mind he never wanted to be empty again, it was the best thing he had ever felt and if he could stay forever with Dean inside of him, he would.

"Dean please move" Cas urged, reaching round to grab Deans ass forcefully and pull him deeper inside.

"Ahhh holy crap Cas" Dean moaned loudly, changing his angle slightly.

He pulled almost all the way out of Castiel before slamming back in at a different angle and Cas arched almost entirely off the bed in pleasure, moaning loud and dirty. Dean knew he had found Cas' weak spot and persisted on hitting it with every single thrust.

Their movements sped up at an alarming rate; Dean slammed hard and fast into the angel, sweat lacing their naked bodies and orgasms fast approaching.

"More Dean…ahhh I need…please more" Cas yelled, blunt nails digging into Dean's bare shoulders and wrapping his legs tightly around Dean's waist.

"fuck fuck fuck" Dean chanted, pleasure racking his body and Cas' grip seemingly getting stronger with each thrust, but it only spared Dean on.

He reached for Castiel's neglected erection and began pumping fast to match with his thrusts.

The angel flipped them over, managing to keep them fully connected and Dean's hand still on his cock. The Winchester stared up in shock for a moment wondering how the hell that just happened, but when Cas continued to fuck him wildly, now riding on top of Dean and gripping on for dear life, Dean couldn't bring himself to care.

Cas slammed down hard and fast, orgasm building up inside of him and he came with a shout and a final cry of Dean's name. He emptied onto Dean's hand and stomach, continuing to ride Dean through his orgasm.

Dean came straight after with a bone deep shudder and a loud moan, gripping Cas' hips with all his strength and surging up inside filling the angel up.

They panted heavily, swimming in the aftershocks of pleasure and Castiel stared down into Dean's eyes, a genuine smile lighting him up before he pulled off Dean with a groan and landed beside him on the bed.

Dean turned to face Cas, smiling widely and kissing the angels shoulder.

"Damn…that was…ahh man, that was just…I just…ok I have no words" Dean said with a chuckle.

Castiel smiled and snuggled in next to Dean, resting his head on Dean's chest.

"It was life changing"


	10. Chapter 10

Two months.

Two glorious, life changing months for Castiel and Dean had passed since that first amazing night together and both men couldn't have been happier.

Not too long after that night, Dean had asked Cas to be his boyfriend, not too long after that, Dean told Ellen and Jo the news, he also called Sam.

Castiel took great pride and happiness in telling Gabriel he had finally felt as though his whole world was in place…of course Gabe was happy for him.

Castiel had not returned home once in the past couple of months, occasionally disappearing for a few hours a day to visit Gabriel on earth and telling Dean he was going to 'work'. Of course he hated lying to Dean, especially now they were so involved but he had no choice and living as a 'human', finally being with Dean was the greatest achievement of Cas' supernatural life.

O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O

Dean lay in his bed sound asleep, Castiel was tucked in beside him, head resting on Dean's chest and simply listening to his heartbeat. He smiled to himself, tracing light patterns over Dean's torso with his finger and tucking in closer to his love.

Castiel had practically been living with Dean, spending every night and day at the apartment, of course on earth he in fact had nowhere else to go but it didn't matter, Dean never questioned it and there was nowhere else Cas would rather be anyway.

The fluttering sound of angel wings was heard in the bedroom, Castiel immediately shot up in bed and glanced to the corner of the room to find Gabriel stood there.

He carefully extracted himself from Dean, pulling on a pair of black PJ pants, much to the amusement of his smirking brother and motioned for Gabe to follow him into the living room, closing the bedroom door behind him.

"What are you doing here Gabriel? You can't just show up like that…what if Dean had of woken up…what if we had been…in the middle of something" Castiel said angrily in a raised whisper.

"Well he didn't and I didn't…look you know I wouldn't come here unless it was important" Gabriel said sternly, Cas shifted uncomfortably noticing the unusual seriousness of his brothers voice and facial expression.

Something was wrong.

"What…what is it?" Castiel stuttered slightly, watching his brother carefully as he sighed and tensed up.

"I'm sorry to tell you this Cassie…I really am…but I found out tonight that Uriel has been spying on you and Dean. He knows about your situation and so does Michael."

Cas' stomach dropped and he closed his eyes in despair, he had been so careful to stay out of heaven's reach. He sank onto the couch with a loud sigh, burying his head in shaking hands. Gabriel fell into the spot beside Cas and waited for his younger brother to say something.

"What happened? I mean…what was said?" Castiel asked quietly, his gaze boring into the floor below.

"Well I overheard Uriel talking about it and I confronted him, we fought…I hit him…"

Castiel couldn't help but let out a very small, yet grateful smile at that.

"…then Michael appeared and it got nasty. The things they said about you…I just couldn't listen anymore…we shouted for a while, yelled at each other…I backed your decision but you need to know Cas…both Michael and Uriel are on the warpath."

Gabriel rested a hand on Cas' shoulder in support and Cas finally looked at him with sad eyes, anger and fear clouding his emotions all at once.

He stood up firmly and looked down at Gabriel, a show of confidence in his stance.

"Take me to them"

O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O

Gabriel led Castiel through heaven to where Uriel had been previously, it had felt like a lifetime since Cas had been home and yet he didn't find it at all comforting.

They turned the corner to see Uriel yelling at some lower class angels, Gabriel threw a look that suggested they just leave at Castiel, but his brother was having none of it.

"Uriel, I wish to speak with you" Cas said strongly, his voice loud enough so Uriel could hear over his own yelling.

He turned slowly with an evil smirk planted across his smug, arrogant face and silently dismissed the other angels.

"Castiel…long time no see brother…how is Dean?" Uriel asked, gritting his teeth and snarling the human's name.

"You do not get to say his name…I hear you have been spying on us"

Gabriel watched in awe as his younger brother who once feared angel's like Uriel, stood his ground and fought for what he believed in.

"Gabriel always did have a big mouth…" Uriel snarled at the archangel, who took a step forward and retaliated.

"And you always had a big nose…sticking it in where it didn't belong."

Castiel held up his hand to stop the building argument and stared right into Uriel's eyes.

"Why?"

"Why did I spy on you? Oh come on Castiel…we know how you feel about the Winchester boy, it was clear from watching you both exactly how he felt about you in return…it was bound to end like this…you two…consorting and committing awful, disgusting sins"

"Loving someone is not a sin" Castiel stated firmly, moving closer to Uriel.

"Man shall not lie with man" Uriel quoted, a smirk forming on his face.

Gabriel scoffed in disapproval.

"Angel should most definitely not lie with man…it's unnatural and out right filthy…human beings are not worthy…it will never last anyway"

"Human beings are beautiful creations…and who says it will never last, I love Dean…I would go to the ends of the earth and back for him" Castiel argued, his voice getting a fraction louder, anger bubbling up from the inside.

"Do you really believe that an angel of the lord can live with a human? It will not work Castiel…especially when said angel is lying through his teeth."

Cas stiffened in response, his eyes shifting away from Uriel for a moment and guilt weighing heavily on his heart.

"I…I have had to lie…I do not like it, but Dean wasn't ready to hear what I really am…but maybe he is now" Cas finished his statement with a strong stance, squaring up to Uriel.

Uriel laughed out loud, shaking his head and moving back from Castiel.

"Oh dear brother, even if you did reveal all to Dean…do you really think he would want you? In a human's eyes we would be supernatural freaks…something that should not exist and in their minds, something that doesn't exist. Dean will cower from you, he will be afraid of you…he will reject you."

"You don't know that…you cannot speak of things you don't know! Dean knows I would never bring him harm…he would not cower from me…he wouldn't…" Castiel yelled loudly, his voice breaking slightly at the end.

"The emotion behind your spoken words say otherwise…even you don't believe a thing you're saying. You know I am right…this will never last…"

Uriel smirked in triumph, watching Castiel starting to crumble piece by piece and losing the argument.

Cas' eyes fell to the ground and his body was now visibly shaking with upset and anger. Gabriel fell into step at his side and put a comforting arm around his brother's shoulders.

"Castiel?" he asked with concern in his voice.

The younger angel ignored Gabriel and instead raised his head to look at Uriel, confidence trying desperately to push its way back to the forefront.

"You know nothing about mine and Dean's relationship…what we have…who says it will never last?"

"I do…"

Gabriel and Castiel spun around to see Michael staring back at them both, with hate in his eyes.

"…In fact, I would personally see to it that this THING will not last. I took you for a fool Castiel…but never believed you would actually be this reckless or disobedient."

Gabriel glared at Michael, shaking his head and to his surprise Castiel stepped out of his grasp and into Michael's personal space.

"Disobedient? I am not a dog Michael…how dare you…why can't you just leave me alone?"

"Because you are one of us…and as long as that is true, I will have no brother of mine living with a human…I will see you die before I let that happen."

Castiel tensed once more, but didn't move.

"Then I die…I would die for him"

Michael sighed loudly and moved out of Cas' reach, pacing the floor.

"Unfortunately that is true…you would. Which is why you leave me no other choice Castiel…you either leave Dean Winchester alone once and for all…or I destroy him."

"That is your threat? You are going to attempt to kill Dean?"

Michael laughed loudly, shaking his head.

"No…killing would be too gracious. I would make his life a living hell…I will destroy him, tear him apart piece by piece…cause him every amount of hurt he deserves…then I would put him back together and start again." Michael said, his smile turning into a vicious snarl.

"You are no better than Lucifer…I would NEVER let you touch Dean…you will not harm him…"

Castiel felt a new wave of anger flooding through him.

"You would have no choice…I could round up an army of angels who agree with me…we would restrain you, I am a lot stronger than you brother…do not defy me. I could take you apart as well…I could make you watch from the darkness as I destroy your lover…and you would have to live with the fact that the reason he is hurting…in pain…alone…is because of YOU."

Castiel's blood ran cold and his stomach dropped violently at Michael's threat, for the first time in his existence, he felt physically sick and knowing that Michael has exactly the right amount of power to take out his threat.

"We could even target the little brother…that would really hit your lover were it hurts, would it not? He would never forgive you if something happened to precious little Sammy Winchester" Uriel spoke up from behind Castiel and Gabriel.

Cas closed his eyes in horror, the sickly feeling rising once more at the mention of Sam's name.

"You will NOT touch Sam Winchester...I would see to that." Gabriel yelled at Uriel, who simply laughed at the archangel.

"You wouldn't dare…why would you harm an innocent?" Castiel asked quietly, a sob forming in the back of his throat and tears now stinging his eyes.

"You have yourself to thank for all this Castiel. You end things now and return to your family, never to see the Winchester again OR we carry out our threats. Your decision" Michael said, standing tall and staring down into Cas' tear filled eyes before disappearing, along with Uriel.

"Gabriel…"

Cas sobbed, his older brother was immediately by his side, holding him up.

"…please just…take me back to Dean"

O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O

Castiel tucked himself back into the warm comfort of Dean's bed, upon returning to find Dean still sound asleep where he left him.

The angel snuggled into his lover's side, an arm cradling Dean's waist and his head resting on the Winchester's shoulder.

Silent tears streamed from Castiel's face.

He looked up at Dean's face, momentarily enjoying the peaceful expression he was radiating. Castiel leant up and placed a chaste kiss on Dean's lips, causing the other man to wake up.

"Is it morning already?" Dean mumbled, rubbing his eyes sleepily.

"No…its 3am…I didn't mean to wake you…I just…I just couldn't sleep" Castiel said quietly, his voice cracking slightly, he hoped Dean hadn't noticed.

"Oh…you ok? You sound…"

"I'm fine Dean"

"Come here you" Dean said with a chuckle, pulling Castiel closer into his own warm body and placing a kiss on top of the angels head.

Castiel rested his head on Dean's chest, as a sad smile slowly formed and tears continued to roll down his cheeks.

Dean was asleep in no time and Castiel was left alone with his thoughts.


	11. Chapter 11

"This movie sucks…I hate chick flicks" Dean complained, throwing popcorn at his TV set.

"Then why are we watching it?" Castiel mumbled, playing with the hem of his t-shirt or should he say Dean's t-shirt.

"Dunno, nothing else on I guess" Dean grumbled, shrugging lazily.

Castiel shifted on the couch next to Dean, his thoughts inwardly driving him insane. The angel knew what he had to do…what he had to say, but it didn't make it any easier, they were both so content, so happy and the idea of bringing it crashing down made him sick.

"Right I give up…"

Dean declared loudly, turning off the TV, putting down the popcorn and turning to face Cas.

"…the movie officially blows…I'm sure we can entertain ourselves in other ways" Dean said seductively, leaning into his lover and cupping his cheek.

The angel immediately tensed, his eyes already threatening to cry a bucket of tears at the thought of losing these moments.

Dean leant in to kiss Castiel, but he was stopped by Cas' hand on his chest and the angel looked at him with sad eyes.

"Dean…I need to speak with you…" Castiel said quietly, moving back out of Dean's grasp and averting his eye contact to the floor.

On instinct, Dean's stomach churned violently knowing that sentence never finished with a happy ending.

"What is it Cas?" Dean asked, gulping loudly and sitting back to study his boyfriend's face.

"There are some things you have to know about me…things I have been keeping from you…"

"OK…you're starting to scare me Cas, whatever it is…we can work it out"

Castiel looked up to meet Dean's worried stare, his eyes were clearly shimmering from tears because Dean was immediately closer into his personal space and grabbing his hand.

"Hey…hey, don't cry Cas…seriously it can't be that bad" Dean soothed, trying to put on a re-assuring smile.

"I'm sorry Dean…I've been lying to you…there is so much you don't know…"

Dean tensed slightly, but kept a firm grip on Cas' hand and urged him to continue.

"…when I disappear during the day, I don't go to 'work'…"

"You're not a tax accountant?" Dean asked, confused.

"…far from it…I'm so sorry, you have no idea who I am…what I am…"

Dean frowned in confusion, managing a small laugh.

"What do you mean 'what' you are? Cas you're not making any sense"

Castiel wiped a stray tear away and straightened himself up, taking a deep breath.

"I need you to know what I am Dean and all I can ask is…that you don't run away, please do not be afraid or worried…just trust and believe in me ok?"

"Cas…what…"

"OK?"

Dean kept a calm exterior, but his insides were jumping erratically in anticipation. He was starting to dread whatever dark secret Castiel had clearly been keeping from him.

None the less he agreed to trust and believe in Cas, because if this past couple of months had taught him anything, it was how to love again…not that Castiel knew this yet.

"Ok…of course Cas"

Cas nodded slowly, before meeting with Dean's eyes and seeing nothing but trust, laced with worry and concern behind them.

"I am an angel of the lord, Dean"

Dean froze, looking at Cas in thought for a moment, his brows furrowing in confusion and before Cas could explain further, Dean out right laughed.

"Man, you know what Cas…you really had me going there for a second…ahh yeah baby you're an angel, you're my angel" Dean said with a chuckle, leaning in and pressing a small kiss to Cas' lips.

The angel didn't respond to the kiss, he just waited for Dean to pull back and frowned at him.

"Look Dean…I know it sounds…unbelievable and perhaps a little insane…but you have to believe me, I need you to understand. I am an angel, I am your guardian angel…I knew you before you met me, I have watched over you since the day you were born…I was there through everything Dean…the loss, the pain, the heartache, the joyful times…everything."

The smile faded all too fast from Dean's face as Castiel explained further to him and he felt a large pang of concern hitting his chest, desperately hoping that Cas was in fact joking because right now, this sort of talk could land him in the loony bin.

"Ok…that's not funny Cas, please tell me your kidding? You sound…I'm sorry but you sound crazy…angels aren't real…they don't exist...not God, not the devil and definitely not angels"

Castiel should have expected this reaction from Dean, but it didn't mean it would hurt any less.

"I'm sorry Dean but you're wrong. I am an angel"

Dean found himself starting to get a little frustrated and snapped.

"Oh yeah…you're an angel…ok, do you have wings?"

"Yes"

"Alright lemme see them then" Dean insisted, waiting to see what crazy answer Cas could come up with next.

Castiel shifted and looked to the floor, hating the shift in Dean's attitude and dreading the explosions that would more than likely follow as they continued.

"I…I can't show them to you…not in this small space, my real wings would burn your eyes…"

Dean huffed a laugh and crossed his arms.

"…but I can perhaps prove it in other ways"

"Ok…I'm ready" Dean prompted, an unimpressed smirk written all over his face.

Castiel stood up hesitantly, not wanting to do anything too dramatic or anything that could potentially frighten Dean. He glanced around the room, his eyes landing on the lamp beside the couch and he turned back to Dean.

"Remember our first night together…and the light above your bed exploded?"

Dean watched warily, his mind casting back to the incident before nodding in reply.

Castiel used his angel powers to reach out and cause the lamp to explode violently behind him. Dean immediately jumped almost a foot in the air and he leapt to his feet, taking a step back and staring wide eyed between the broken lamp and Castiel.

"What the hell?"

"That was me"

"No…that isn't possible, no freakin way man…that's…I mean how?" Dean stammered.

Castiel motioned in his mind to repair the lamp and suddenly it was whole again, right before Dean's eyes. The Winchester couldn't quite comprehend what was occurring, his mind not being able to settle on what just happened or be able to come up with a logical explanation.

"Ah man…this can't be happening, that isn't possible…I have a headache…" Dean sunk back onto the couch, cradling his head.

He looked up at the sound of footsteps walking towards him and Dean cast his eyes up at Castiel.

"Please do not be afraid of me Dean" Castiel said calmly, before placing two fingers to Dean's forehead.

Before the other man could ask what he was doing, his headache was suddenly gone and he stared up in surprise at Cas.

"It's gone…the headache…"

"I can also heal"

Dean's mind started working overtime and suddenly a long list of strange occurrences came flooding back to him.

"Woah…wait a minute…so the exploding light bulb…when your brother hit you and your injuries practically healed overnight…the fact you are freakishly strong…the list is endless…so these weren't just odd little quirks that I passed off as nothing, that was all you? Your angel mojo or whatever the hell you call it?" Dean enquired, his voice almost sounding fascinated by the events.

"Yes it was all me"

"Wow…certainly explains a hell of a lot, so when you sneak out in the day?"

"It is to return home and visit my brothers…"

"Home as in…"

"Heaven yes"

"Shit"

Dean sighed loudly, squeezing his eyes shut tightly and Castiel watched in anticipation, but was glad to see Dean calming down somewhat.

"I can't believe angels exist…that heaven exists…this is insane and you're sure right? These aren't just some cheap parlour tricks to con me right?"

"Oh I'm sure."

Castiel took a seat back beside Dean and placed a comforting hand on his shoulder, causing the Winchester to flinch slightly.

Dean sat for a moment, trying to absorb everything he had been told, his posture was calm and he didn't reject Cas' touch, simply letting his hand rest there. This was a good sign.

"Huh…"

Castiel looked to Dean, noticing a change in his facial expression and worry started to flood the angel.

"What is it Dean? I'm sure you have many questions…whatever it is you can say"

"…so you have been my guardian since day one right?"

"Yes…I am a lower class angel, my brother Gabriel he fought to earn me a human charge, someone to look after and I was granted the job as a guardian. Every human on earth has a guardian angel…I was assigned to you and later Gabriel was assigned to Sam."

"So your brother Gabriel is Sam's guardian…he's not the dick who hit you right?"

"No that was Michael…Sam is in good hands, Gabriel is an archangel"

Dean nodded in approval, before his mind started to tick over again and Cas watched as his face turned into that of frustration.

"Wait…so if you are my 'guardian'…you were there through everything?"

"Yes every single day of your life Dean…I have never left your side…"

Dean felt a new surge of frustration, confusion and an onslaught of anger bubbling inside. He stood up abruptly and began to pace the room.

"So where the hell were you when my mom died? Where the hell were you when my dad drank himself to death or when I had to drop out of school or when I had to raise my little brother ALONE…what kind of guardian angel are you? Why didn't you stop it…all of it…" Dean started to yell angrily at Cas and the angel froze at the sudden burst of accusations.

"We are not allowed to interfere with events Dean…some things in life are meant to happen as God would have it…as an angel, a simple guardian…I cannot interfere…no matter how much I want to"

"What a load of bullshit…if you cared about me at all…then you would have stopped it. Do you realise the crap I've felt over the years…the hell I've been through…" Dean yelled.

Castiel stood up and entered Dean's personal space.

"YES BECAUSE I WAS THERE…"

The angel yelled loudly, causing the room to violently shake for a moment and causing Dean to freeze mid sentence and stare with wide eyes.

"…I was there Dean…the nights when you tucked Sam into bed, while your father was passed out downstairs…you would go to your room and cry for hours…I was right there with you Dean. I lay next you and cried those tears with you…"

Dean's eyes started to well with tears as Castiel spoke.

"…I was there when you lost both of your parents…I wanted nothing more than to reach out to you and comfort you in a human way, but it defies every rule in the book…I have loved you for so long Dean, I love you so much that it hurts. Every thought, every feeling, every emotion I have comes back to you and has done every single day since you came into this world. That moment when the closest person in your life, your brother…left for college, I couldn't take it anymore…I didn't want to see you go through it all alone…not anymore, so I broke every rule in the book and presented myself to you as a friend…a human being…and you know what? It was worth it…you are my world Dean and always will be."

Castiel collapsed back onto the couch, his body shaking and tears spilling down his face rapidly, choking on his own cries. Dean stared down at Cas, tears now flowing freely from his own eyes and his heart clenching with a million different emotions.

"I have to go" Dean said, wiping tears from his eyes and making his way towards the door.

The angel immediately looked up and his eyes followed Dean's movements.

"Where are you going….please don't leave Dean"

"I'm sorry Cas…please, I just need to clear my head" Dean said quietly, before making his way out of the apartment.

Castiel broke into another loud cry and buried his head in hands, simply waiting and hoping that Dean would come back through that door.

O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O

Exactly one hour later, the door clicked open and Castiel looked up in relief, to see an exhausted looking Dean re-enter his apartment.

He glanced over; slightly surprised to still see Cas sitting in the same position as when he left.

"You're still here" Dean mumbled, tossing his jacket aside and standing awkwardly.

"Of course…I am not leaving you alone with this kind of information. It's a lot to take in and I want you to understand Dean."

Dean nodded, refusing to look at the angel.

"I do…I mean I'm getting there…it's not something you hear everyday…that your boyfriend is an angel..."

Castiel stood up and cautiously approached Dean; finally he looked up into Cas' blue eyes and sighed loudly.

"…I'm sorry Cas…I've been thinking and the things I said about my mom and dad…you not helping, I was wrong…I get that you can't go changing things, it wouldn't be the natural order, I just got mad."

"It's ok Dean, its understandable" Cas soothed, coming to a stop and not wanting to overstep or get too close.

"I guess, it was still out line and I'm sorry…I'm not afraid of you, you're allowed to come closer…"

Castiel took that as an invitation and stepped into Dean's personal space, earning a light chuckle from the Winchester.

"…this is completely insane, I can't believe you have watched over me my whole life and now you're here…with me. God Cas the things we have done…aren't they sinful?"

"Yes and I don't care" Castiel stated, before moving in to close the remaining space between them and placing his lips tenderly against Dean's.

The kiss was short and hesitant, before Cas pulled back slightly and their foreheads simply rested together.

"You said you loved me…"

"Yes, I always have Dean and I always will"

Dean sniffled; bringing his hands up to cradle Cas' face and looked him in the eyes.

"…and you need to know, I love you too…I love you so much…I don't know how or when it happened to me, it hasn't been that long…but I guess the connection you have with me…I must have felt it somewhere inside, cause I have never fallen for anyone like I've fallen for you"

Castiel smiled sadly, before Dean pulled him in for another lingering kiss.

"Dean…" Cas said, another sob threatening to wreck his system.

"You're telling me all this for a reason aren't you?" Dean asked, sadness filling his voice.

"Yes…I couldn't walk away without you knowing the truth"

"Walk away? You're ending this? But the things you told me…" Dean felt a new batch of tears filling him up and he kept his head firmly pressed against the angels.

"I have no choice…if it was up to me, I would be with you until the end of days…this is killing me…" Castiel finally broke, sobbing again as Dean pulled back and cried fresh tears of his own.

"No…please don't leave Cas, we can work this out…I'm sure it's not the most conventional relationship but I don't care whatever it takes…"

"Dean you don't understand…"

"Dammit Castiel, then MAKE me understand" Dean cried out loudly, causing the angel to jump.

"My brother…Michael, he said if I don't walk away from you…then he will hurt you and I can't let that happen"

"I can take care of myself, we can work this out…please Cas…"

"NO…Dean I will not risk you, he will hurt you in every way possible and make me watch, cause there isn't a damn thing I could do about it if the archangels took hold of me…they can threaten me…but I will not see you get hurt because of me"

"It's ok Cas…what about Gabriel? You said he was an archangel, he could be on our side…we can figure this out." Dean tried to calm Cas down, taking his hands.

Castiel looked up to Dean with tear drenched eyes and sighed sadly.

"Yours is not the only life that Michael is threatening…"

"He's threatening you?"

"I don't matter…"

"Don't you dare say that…of course you matter…I wouldn't let him touch you, even if I died trying"

Cas froze, his heart filling with love and affection for the man in front of him, seeing how much Dean had come to care for him.

"I'm sorry Dean…but he threatened to hit you were it would hurt the most…he threatened Sam's life. I am not about to see you both put at risk because of me…Sam is your brother."

Dean took a step back, shock and anger filling him from the inside out.

"He threatened to hurt Sammy?"

"Now you understand why I HAVE to walk away Dean, this is the hardest thing I will ever have to do…but I'm doing it for you and Sam. I cannot be selfish about this."

Dean nodded slowly, tears spilling down his cheeks and every part of him admired Cas' decision, as much as he didn't want him to go…he couldn't risk Sam, he was innocent in all of this and had a bright future ahead.

He stepped forward once more and rested his forehead against Castiel's, letting out a long sigh, full of defeat and sadness.

"Please just stay with me Cas…just one more night" Dean begged, kissing the tip of his angels nose.

Castiel nodded and returned the gesture, by cupping Dean's cheek and kissing him softly on the lips.

"That would mean the world to me Dean, one more night"

O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O

Dean lay below Castiel in the bed, both angel and human naked together, as Castiel pushed inside of Dean.

They held on tightly to each other, tears still evident as the angel made love to his human.

Dean moaned quietly as Castiel's thrusts hit him deep inside, he gripped onto his angels shoulders and Cas returned the tight hold as he pushed in and out of Dean, slowly. Both of them never wanting the feeling to end, they kissed slowly with every emotion possible spilling into each other through their actions.

Castiel moaned loudly as his orgasm overtook him, filling up Dean and the human followed soon after, riding out his own orgasm as Cas kissed him passionately.

The angel pulled out of Dean and fell onto the bed beside him, the human immediately pulling Castiel close and wrapping strong, supportive arms around him.

Dean knew deep down that when he woke up in the morning; Castiel would be gone…mostly because it was just less painful that way and his mind fought to stay awake, trying to savour every last moment.

Castiel laced his fingers together with Dean's and simply lay, staring at their joined hands. Dean pushed his other hand through Cas' hair, stroking and petting soothingly.

"Do we have any options at all?" Dean asked quietly but hopefully.

"None…if God was present, he may be able to remove my grace and I could fall, become human and live my days with you…but he has been missing for a very long time. Otherwise I would do it in a heartbeat"

Dean sighed loudly, knowing that if that were an actual option, he knows Cas would have done it already.

"Cas…when I die…would we meet again, in heaven?"

Castiel stiffened, knowing that would be true but not wanting to encourage any sort of option that might hold.

"That is not an option Dean"

"I know…I'm just curious…when I die, will you be there?"

"Of course, I would find you…but that will be a long time from now."

Dean placed a kiss on the top of Castiel's head and breathed in the angels scent, relishing the moment.

"Will you wait for me Cas?"

The angel turned his head to look at Dean with a sad smile.

"Always, I love you"

Dean returned the sad smile, before kissing Castiel for what felt like the final time and a tear rolled down his cheek.

"I love you too"

"Goodnight Dean"

"Night Cas"

Dean let himself drift off into a slumber, dreading the following morning when he would wake up in bed alone.


	12. Chapter 12

It had been a week since Castiel had disappeared from Dean's life.

It was also fair to say that both angel and human were not handling it well, Castiel had returned to heaven and Gabriel had vowed to watch over Dean as well as Sam for the time being, so Castiel's mind was at rest about Dean's protection.

Castiel strolled lazily through Heaven's garden, looking for a lone place to find solitude and be with his own thoughts, no matter how much it drove him crazy this past week. He would sooner be alone than face his fellow brother's and sister's who he knew were judging his previous actions, always ones to hold grudges.

The angel found a small flowing river, surrounded by flowers and animals, the kind of peaceful scene that only materialized in dreams and in heaven itself.

Castiel took a seat on a rock beside the stream, watching the water flow and the fish swimming against the small current.

"Thought I might find you here"

Gabriel approached Cas and took a seat next to him, his younger brother never broke his gaze from the stream and Gabriel sighed loudly.

"I checked in on Dean today…"

At that, Castiel's head raised and he finally locked eye contact with his brother, so Gabriel continued.

"…He's not doing so well, without you. He's pretty much skulking around with the same kinda face you're wearing right now. Dean misses you…I can tell"

Castiel's lip quivered slightly, tears threatening to burst out at any given moment. He simply turned his attention back to the stream and nodded slowly.

"I miss him too" Cas spoke quietly, his voice broken and shattered.

Gabriel frowned in sadness and placed a hand in comfort on Cas' shoulder.

"I know you do pal"

"I just wish it didn't have to be like this Gabriel…I feel like a huge part of me is gone" Castiel said; voice finally breaking and a simple tear rolling down his face.

Gabriel watched the hurt and pain radiate from his brother, feeling entirely helpless.

"Well I think you did the right thing…for once"

Both Castiel and Gabriel turned suddenly at the sound of Michael's voice from behind them.

"Nobody asked your opinion chuckles, just leave us alone" Gabriel snarled.

Michael let out a chilling laugh, before Uriel appeared beside him in a flurry of wings.

"Oh Gabriel…this has nothing to do with you. We did what was best for our brother…its better this way." Michael continued, with a satisfied smile on his face.

"At least this way…our brother is away from that filthy, disgusting excuse for a human being…the boy is a bad influence and an abomination." Uriel said with a smirk to match Michael's.

Gabriel felt Castiel tense beside him, the youngest angel gritted his teeth together in anger, tears still staining his cheeks as he stood up abruptly and was suddenly in front of both Michael and Uriel.

"Threatening the life of the man I love and his younger brother is NOT what is best for me…you disgust me…"

Castiel snarled, anger fuelling his confidence as he stepped closer to his older brothers.

"…I am ashamed to call you my brothers…in fact, you're not…you are NOTHING to me. Dean is a thousand times the man you will ever be…both of you."

Michael laughed out right in Castiel's face and shook his head.

"The man you love? Oh please …that's not love Castiel…its obsession! You forget we have been here the whole time…since day one when you were granted Dean as your charge, its fascination and obsession…nothing more. You don't know how to love"

Castiel shook his head and glared at Michael.

"You are wrong. I know exactly how to love…Dean Winchester showed me how. You are bitter, spiteful and power hungry, you just can't face facts that another angel…a lower, much younger angel than yourself has developed so emotionally…something that you could never reach and that annoys the hell out of you. I am better than you in every way possible Michael, I see that now. I would sooner fall and become human, than stay here by your side as an angel"

Gabriel stood proudly behind Castiel and placed a hand on his younger brother's shoulder in pride as he finished his speech.

Michael's smile faded somewhere between words and he was practically snarling with anger, glaring at Castiel.

"You will never be better than me Castiel…don't even bother to try and fool yourself. As for falling to earth, you know it's our father who grants such wishes and he would NEVER let such an irresponsible, pathetic little runt of an angel roam the earth as human…he has more respect for his creations than that…although I have no idea why. But you…you belong up here, alone and in the shadows."

Castiel bowed his head at Michael's final statement and the arch angel laughed in triumph, Uriel chuckling away beside him.

"Don't listen to him Cassie" Gabriel comforted, squeezing Cas' shoulder.

The youngest angel raised his head and Michael took a step back upon seeing the unusual grin appear across Castiel's face.

Before he had time to register, Michael was thrown backwards and hitting the ground with a loud crack. Castiel appeared above him, looking more venomous than he had ever seen.

"Castiel…what the hell do you think you are doing?" Michael spat out.

"Finally standing up to you…you self righteous, arrogant, pathetic son of a bitch"

One swift kick to Michael's stomach and a blow to the face, was enough to make Michael howl in pain, as he finally seen the power and strength Castiel did possess and he would be lying if he said he wasn't frightened in that moment.

"I am sick of living in the dark…stay the hell away from me Michael"

Castiel left his bloody, broken shell of a brother on the ground and headed back towards Gabriel, landing a forceful punch on Uriel's nose as he passed…just for the sheer hell of it.

Uriel sat up in horror, bringing his hand up to his now bloody nose and scowled at Castiel.

"You have truly lost it…you are a disgrace to this garrison. That…that Winchester boy has destroyed whatever angel you had left in you…you're no better than human scum…"

Castiel smirked and shook his head, continuing to walk away with Gabriel in tow.

Uriel stood up and shouted after the brother's.

"…You are so far gone Castiel…I'm surprised you haven't ripped out your grace to be with that filthy human, you are insane"

As Uriel's words sank in, realisation hit Castiel and he stopped abruptly, turning to Gabriel with a look of pure shock.

O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O

"Come on Dean, please we haven't seen you for over a week now…just come and sit down, have a drink" Jo pleaded.

He finally nodded, before flopping down on the barstool. Jo had begged him to get out of his apartment for some air, after not hearing or seeing him for over a week since he and Castiel broke up. She was beginning to worry about him, Jo had seen Dean go through break ups before, but this was different.

"How have you been?" She asked carefully, handing Dean a beer.

Dean looked up at her with a glare and shook his head, before knocking back a fair amount of his drink in one go.

"Don't ask stupid questions" He said quietly, placing his beer on the bar and wincing at his own words, remembering how Castiel had said the exact same thing before they kissed and made love for the first time.

Jo would usually joke about Dean getting over his little girl fit, but she could see something deeper in her friend's eyes. Something that told her to back off, Castiel had clearly meant a lot more to Dean than she could have ever imagined.

The door to the Roadhouse swung open and a tall man walked in, Jo immediately smiled and nudged Dean.

"I know something that will cheer you up" She taunted.

"Doubt it" he scoffed.

"Hey Dean"

Dean immediately spun around and saw Sam standing in the Roadhouse, a big smile plastered on his face.

"Surprise" he said with a sheepish grin.

Sam was suddenly greeted with arms full of his older brother, hugging him tightly and Jo smiled, grabbing another beer for the younger Winchester.

Soon enough Sam and Dean were both sat at a table, in the quiet corner of the Roadhouse.

Sam had talked about college and how well it's been going, he told Dean about his studies and his roommate Garth.

Dean let him ramble on, enjoying the distraction and loving every moment with Sam that he could get.

Finally when Sam started gushing about Jess, a girl he had met in college who was now officially his girlfriend. Dean's smile faded slightly and his mind went rushing straight back to Cas.

"That's great Sam, I'm really happy for you" Dean said, his smile now tight and slightly forced.

Of course he was happy for his brother, but talking about relationships was a little too fresh for Dean's liking right now.

"Wow Dean, don't sound too thrilled" Sam said with a chuckle.

"Sorry…I am happy for you, both of you. It's just been a tough week"

Sam's smile faded into a look of concern, mentally slapping himself for not actually asking how Dean was since he arrived.

"I'm sorry man that sucks. But hey…how are things with that guy you have been seeing…Castiel is it?"

Dean closed his eyes, flinching at the sound of Cas' name and pressing his lips together tightly.

Sam's eyes went wide and he realised that he had most definitely asked the wrong question, upon seeing Dean's reaction.

"Oh shit man…that's what this is about isn't it? Are you and he not together anymore?"

"It's ok…you weren't to know. We broke it off a little over a week ago now. It's nobody's fault…it was a mutual thing I guess." Dean said quietly, keeping his eyes focused on the beer bottle in front of him.

"What happened?" Sam enquired.

If it had been anyone else, Dean would have grunted and shook his head, but this was Sam asking.

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you" Dean said with a snort.

Sam placed his hand on Dean's arm.

"Try me"

Dean looked at his brother, the focus of the conversation now entirely resting on him and he nodded slowly before telling his tale.

Dean explained to Sam how they had gotten together in the first place and how much he felt for Castiel. He told his brother about how happy those couple of months had made him and with Cas he had finally found someone he could see himself being with for the long run.

Slow, almost unrecognisable tears flowed silently from the eldest Winchester brother and Sam's heart clenched uncomfortably at the sight; this was not the Dean he knew, he could never remember ever seeing Dean Cry. He was always so strong and brave; this proved to Sam that his older brother was in fact just as vulnerable and breakable as anyone else and it hit Sam like a ton of bricks as he listened to Dean speak through his tears. Dean's love for Castiel was evident as he spoke and Sam couldn't help but feel for him.

They spoke for hours, Dean wrestled with his inner Demons as to whether he could confide in Sam and tell the truth about Castiel.

O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O

"I don't know about this Castiel." Gabriel said, voicing his concerns.

Castiel paced up and down, wringing his hands together in a nervous fashion.

"If I had known sooner…I would have done this a long time ago. I didn't know ripping out my grace to fall was even possible until Uriel slipped up"

Gabriel rolled his eyes and sighed loudly.

"Of course it's possible…when angel's go to God once in a blue moon to be granted the rights to fall and become human, that's in effect what he does…just a lot more gentle. There is a reason angels don't tear out their own grace Castiel…it's risky as hell and hurts like a bitch apparently."

Cas shook his head and stopped pacing, meeting Gabriel with a confident stare.

"I don't care. I'm doing this for Dean, to be WITH Dean…I don't want to be here anymore Gabriel. Please…I can't do this without you by my side"

Gabriel saw the determination and sadness in his brother's eyes. He knew that all Castiel wants and has ever wanted was to be with Dean. If that meant ripping out his own grace, losing his wings and falling to become a human being, then so be it.

He walked up to Castiel and pulled him into a tight hug, patting him on the back in comfort.

"Of course…I'm always here for you Cassie…"

He pulled back from Cas, with both hands still on his brother's shoulders.

"…you ready?"

Castiel nodded firmly, a mixture of excitement and fear rushing through his system at a terrifying speed.

"I was born ready"

Gabriel smiled at the show of confidence and took a step back.

"For Dean."

Castiel smiled.

"For Dean"

The piercing cries and pain of one lone angel could be heard through the heavens, but Castiel was now well on his way to becoming human.

There was no turning back.


	13. Chapter 13

Castiel stood up on shaky legs; the rain was coming down heavy, soaking his clothes and hair.

The last thing he remembers was saying goodbye to Gabriel, before starting the painful process of ripping out his grace and it was fair to say that nothing would ever feel that agonizing ever again. The impact of Castiel's grace being ripped apart had blasted Gabriel into the next garrison and caused Cas to disappear from heavens grounds and re-appear on earth crash landing with a crack.

Every bone in his body ached, he was pretty sure nothing was broken though; the impact had been a lot more human friendly than he anticipated. He was soaked right through from the rain and now shaking from the cold. Every sensation telling him that he was in fact now a human being.

Castiel smiled to himself, despite the aches and the shivering, his mind completely set on finding Dean. He started to walk on shaky legs, trying to look for clues as to where he was and how long it would take him to get to where he needed to be.

Cas inwardly prayed for Gabriel, hoping he would help somehow and guide him to Dean. But when nothing happened, Castiel knew he had to do this the human way now and so he set off on a long road to find the man he loved.

O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O

"I'm still a little worried about him Sam; I mean he still isn't himself you know?"

Jo spoke softly on the phone to Sam, it had been just over two weeks since Sam had headed back out to college after his visit and Dean's state hadn't improved much, in fact it had gotten worse since Sam went away again.

Sam sighed loudly on the other end of the phone.

"Look I get it Jo, I'm worried too…but he's been through a hell of a lot. He told me a lot of stuff…and to be honest, I don't blame him for the way he's acting. You wouldn't believe some of the stuff he has heard…gone through. It's gonna impact him but he will be ok in time…you guys just keep pushing, be there for him. I've been calling him everyday to make sure he's all good…so he will get there and I'll be back down to visit soon, I promise"

Jo shuffled on her feet and sighed in defeat.

"Fine…ok you're right…I know you're right. I'm more concerned about the drinking thing, I mean after what happened with your dad he should know better."

"I know, believe me I know and I gave him a lecture about it last time ok, but he's stronger than dad was. I trust in my brother, just give him some time. Look I gotta go I have class in 5, send Dean my love and tell him I'll call later"

"Will do and take care Sammy, speak soon"

O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O

Dean downed another glass of whiskey, enjoying the burning sensation flooding through his throat and numbing his pain for a little while longer.

He was missing Castiel more than he ever thought possible, Dean believed the weeks would get better but they only got harder. Sam's visit was a nice surprise, but since his brother left, it only made Dean feel worse.

It surprised him how much of a hole Castiel had left behind, Dean felt like a huge part of him was missing and he couldn't help but think the emptiness wasn't only from losing Cas physically and emotionally, but from the fact his angel was no longer watching over him anymore…he could almost feel that the invisible comforting presence in his life that had always been there slipping. It was now completely gone from his life and he never felt more alone.

Dean needed to clear his head; he downed one more glass of whiskey before grabbing the keys to his impala and heading out of the apartment.

O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O

Castiel had walked for what seemed like hours.

He found he wasn't too far away from Dean's home town and managed to make his way to a main road, were he managed to catch a ride off a friendly passer by. She made a promise to drop Castiel on the outskirts of town but he had to make his own way from there.

Cas deemed this good enough and thanked the lady for her kindness before exiting the car.

After sitting for a while, the pain in Castiel's legs and feet had eased dramatically, he found he was able to pick up his pace and walk a little faster as he headed into town. The thought of seeing Dean was playing over and over in his mind, he couldn't help but smile at the end result, when he would finally be able to kiss his lover again and they could be together without threat.

Darkness was now filling the sky, Cas knew it was getting late but he wanted to continue without stopping. When familiar sights in the town started to present themselves to Castiel, it only fuelled his energy and he continued to walk deeper into the town.

The former angel was walking past a dark field, when suddenly his brother appeared in front of him and he came to a stop, almost bumping into the arch angel.

"Gabriel…you nearly gave me a heart attack and that is actually possible now" Castiel growled, holding his hand against his now fast beating heart.

"Sorry Cas" Gabriel said, with a sheepish look.

Castiel noticed he looked dishevelled and had a cut lip, along with a bruise on his head, immediately worry flooded his system.

"Are you ok, what happened to you?"

"THIS…

Gabriel pointed at the bruise.

"…was caused when I fell into the next garrison after you ripped out your grace…glad to see you're ok by the way."

Castiel winced in sympathy, but remembered his agonizing pain from earlier and the guilt disappeared.

"Sorry…and yes I'm ok. But I never want to go through that much pain ever again"

"I bet…it wasn't pretty!"

"So what about the cut lip?"

"Oh I got into another fight with Uriel…that's why I came actually, Cas you need to…"

"Let's talk while we walk" Cas suggested, moving past his brother and continuing his hike, knowing he was so close to Dean now.

Gabriel's eyes widened and he jogged to catch up to Castiel, grabbing his arm.

"Woahh slow down; wait a minute, where are you going?"

Castiel looked at his brother in confusion, before shrugging off his arm.

"To see Dean of course"

"Look Cas, maybe we should talk first ok…you don't have to see Dean right now. There are some things you need to know"

"Gabriel…Dean is the reason I fell. He is also the reason I have spent the last 6 hours hiking and hitching rides to get here…I am going to see Dean now. Although it would go a lot faster if you just flew us to his apartment."

"No can do. Look Cas this is real important ok…let's just take a step back here. You don't need to see Dean"

Castiel could feel the frustration bubbling and he glared at Gabriel.

"I thought you were on my side, why are you so intent on stopping me seeing Dean? If you do not wish to help, then just leave me alone"

Before Gabriel could answer, Castiel broke into a run down the road and boy he was fast for a human.

He reached the end of a long, familiar road and turned back to see Gabriel had now disappeared. Cas sighed and continued to walk alone.

Castiel rounded the corner and found several flashing lights ahead that hurt his eyes, he continued up the road getting closer to the scene.

Many people were gathered around and there appeared to be cop cars and ambulances on the scene. Before Cas could get closer, Gabriel appeared again right in front of him, bringing the former angel to a stop.

"Gabriel, would you just leave…you can't keep popping up like this. Somebody might see."

"I don't care…please Cas, just listen to me…I'm begging you."

Castiel narrowed his eyes at Gabriel.

"What is going on?"

"Let's just go somewhere and talk ok? I'm just begging you to turn around, we can't continue down this road…please Cas" Gabriel insisted, trying to drag Castiel backwards.

"I don't understand…why can't I continue down this road?" Castiel asked hesitantly.

His eyes darted to the scene unfolding down the street and his stomach lurched, a nervous feeling now creeping inside of him.

Castiel didn't know why, but he broke into a run and headed straight for the chaos ahead of him, with Gabriel calling out his name to stop him.

As he reached the scene ahead, his eyes landed on a car that was now resting upside down in the road. Cas' felt sick when he recognised the car to be Dean's impala, immediately he darted through the crowd of people and reached a make shift barrier keeping everyone from the accident.

That's when his eyes landed on Dean.

Castiel's eyes widened, seeing Dean laid out on the road, lifeless and surrounded by paramedics doing their job.

He tried to push around the barrier and make a run towards Dean, but an officer stopped him.

"Woah you can't go over there sir. Please stay behind the barrier; this is a very serious road traffic accident."

"I need to see him please, I know him…just please let me through" Castiel pleaded, now sobbing uncontrollably and trying to push past the officer.

"I'm sorry but I have to insist you stay back" The officer said, pushing Castiel behind the barrier and closing it over.

"DEAN….DEAN…" Cas yelled loudly, hoping to see some sort of movement.

When there was nothing, Castiel jumped over the barrier, straight past the cops and came to a skidding halt, now standing beside Dean and the paramedics.

The paramedics looked up but didn't do anything; they were using their time and efforts to revive Dean.

All Castiel could do was watch.

He felt entirely helpless, begging for his angel powers back if it would save Dean.

"DEAN…please Dean…please…" Castiel begged and prayed, sobs racking his body as he stood on the spot, staring helplessly down at his loved one. He went to reach for Dean, before one paramedic stood up and pushed him back.

"I'm very sorry…could you please just stand back and let us do our job"

Castiel nodded rapidly, his lip quivering and never taking his wide blue eyes off Dean.

He watched as two of the paramedics beside Dean shook their heads.

"Ok that's enough…I'm gonna call it…"

One paramedic spoke up and Castiel listened intently, noticing they had stopped in their actions.

"…time of death 11:04pm…"

Castiel's heart stopped at the medics words. He froze on the spot, his mouth gaping open and staring down at Dean's body.

"No…"

Cas mumbled, tears now streaming down his face.

"…no he can't be dead…not now, not after everything"

The paramedic stood up and put a hand on Cas' shoulder.

"Did you know this man?"

Castiel nodded his head, but kept his eyes on Dean.

"We will need to ask you a few questions about his identity if that's ok?"

Castiel didn't know what the medic was saying, his mind too dazed and confused as to what was happening, so he simply nodded again.

"I'm very sorry for your loss"

The former angel dropped to his knees and scooted over to Dean's side; he grabbed his now lifeless hand and kissed it.

"You can't be dead…I'm right here, I'm here Dean, see?…we can be together, I've been through so much to get here. I will always come back for you…please Dean, you can't be gone…please come back." Castiel rambled helplessly, breaking down into hysterics and clutching Dean's hand tightly.

His body trembled with the force of his cries, tears rolled continuously down his already stained cheeks and he begged for Dean to come back.

The paramedics tried to move Castiel away from Dean's body and he started fighting back.

"No no…I won't leave him…please let me stay…I don't want to leave him anymore…never again…please" Castiel kicked and begged as he was manoeuvred away from Dean.

Gabriel appeared beside his brother and grabbed him by the shoulder.

"It's over Castiel…let them do their job"

Castiel turned and punched Gabriel directly on the nose, flinching at the pain in his knuckles after the blow.

"BRING HIM BACK" Cas yelled at Gabriel.

"I can't Castiel…you know this. I can't bring Dean back…if I could, I would do it for you…but I can't, I'm so sorry I didn't want you to find out like this. After everything you have done…I found out and I tried to stop you" Gabriel pleaded with his brother.

Cas nodded in defeat knowing that Gabriel was right, he turned to see Dean's body being placed in the body bag and sickness crawled up his throat. He ran to the side of the road and for the first time in his existent he vomited uncontrollably, Gabriel rubbed his back soothingly until he was done.

He finished, wiping his mouth with his trenchcoat sleeve and flopped down onto the road, crying uncontrollably as Dean's body was taken away.

"I would take ripping out my grace any day over this pain…THIS is the worst pain I have ever felt…make it stop, please Gabriel…make it stop"

Gabriel was soon at Castiel's side, cradling his brother as he sobbed long into the night.


	14. Chapter 14

Gabriel had reluctantly left Castiel behind, so he could be there watching over Sam as he was delivered the news about Dean.

Now alone, Castiel walked up to Dean's apartment and reached for the spare key that he knew was always hidden under the doormat. He let himself into the apartment he knew so well and stepped inside.

Castiel took in the familiar space and moved further inside, closing the door behind him. He spent time looking over Dean's possessions and noticing the un-washed dishes by the sink, the now empty but clearly used glass on the coffee table and the near enough empty bottle of whiskey by its side.

After talking with the police for a little while, they revealed to Cas that Dean had in fact been drinking and driving, which was most likely what caused his accident. Castiel was so mad at Dean, wondering how he could be that stupid and at the same time, blaming himself entirely for Dean's loneliness and need to drink excessively. It was all his fault, now he was stuck on earth as a human but without Dean. It almost felt like a cruel punishment.

He made his way into Dean's bedroom and shrugged off his own clothes, dragging a pair of Dean's sweat pants and t-shirts from the wardrobe. Cas promptly put on the baggy clothes and crawled into Dean's un-made bed, covering himself with the blankets.

Castiel lay there, taking in everything that was Dean and inhaling the all too familiar scent from his bed sheets and clothes. The tears pushed their way through again as emotions built up once more and Cas sobbed quietly into the sheets, until sleep finally took over his new, exhausted human form.

O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O

The following two days were hell, Castiel didn't move from Dean's apartment, mostly not knowing what to do with himself now. He padded around the apartment picking at the remains of Dean's left over food when he felt that human urge to eat and showering when he started to smell a little. But otherwise he didn't move, usually curled up in a ball under the covers on Dean's bed and wearing Dean's clothes.

Castiel was in exactly that position when he heard the apartment door open.

His brain was foggy and he felt a little dazed, probably from lack of a decent meal and adjusting to human sleep. For a split second he forgot everything and went running out of the bedroom, towards the front door.

"DEAN…Dean is that you…"

Castiel stopped in his tracks when he was greeted with the sight of a tall young man, who was now staring in horror at Castiel.

"Who the hell are you?" Sam snarled, immediately jumping on the defence.

The former angel took in the sight of the young man. He clearly looked distraught, his cheeks were stained with tears and Cas noticed he held another key to the apartment. Realisation started to hit and Castiel took a step backwards.

"You must be Sam" he said quietly.

Sam frowned and raised an eyebrow at Cas.

"How do you know who I am? Who the hell are you?"

"I'm Castiel"

Sam's eyes widened and his stance relaxed slightly.

"You're Dean's angel…you're his Cas?"

Cas' heart sped up at being called 'Dean's angel' and 'his Cas', he simply nodded in reply.

"Dean told you about me"

"He told me everything."

Castiel's eyes widened and he dropped onto Dean's couch, as Sam finally closed the door behind him and took a seat beside Cas.

"Everything?"

"Yeah…I know that you're a…an angel" Sam said, stumbling over his words slightly.

"And you believed him?" Castiel asked, looking to the younger Winchester.

Sam nodded in reply, a small smile tugging his lips.

"Yeah of course, I'd have believed everything Dean told me…besides I was always a bit more religious than him, I was always a believer. At first I thought he was acting out, a little crazy…but he seemed so genuine when he told me everything about you. So yeah…you're an angel"

"WAS an angel" Castiel said sadly, dipping his head and staring at his joined hands.

"Was? You're not now…"

"No…I found a way to…I fell…I found a way and I become human. So I could be with Dean"

Sam closed his eyes in horror and buried his head in hands, running his fingers through his long hair.

"And now you're stuck here without him" He stated and Cas nodded in reply.

"I'm so sorry for your loss Sam, I know how much Dean meant to you and how much you meant to him"

Sam nodded slowly and gulped loudly, fresh tears stinging the back of his eyes.

"Yeah…I loved him, he was my big brother. He was everything and now…he's gone. I still can't believe he's gone"

Castiel felt a pang of hurt racing through his chest and looked up to meet Sam's eyes with understanding, feeling tears trickling down his cheeks once more.

"He loved you too, you know that right?" Sam said, wiping away his own tears with his sleeve.

"I believe he did, yes."

"Did you see Dean…before he…"

"No…I fell to earth and set out to find him, but I was too late" Cas said quietly, tears rolling silently.

"You gave up everything to be with Dean, I respect and appreciate that…he would have been the happiest guy in the world…I know it, he loved you so much. You were his angel"

Castiel crumbled and started to sob.

"No matter what good I try to do…I always let him down. I should have been here for him, so I tried and I failed…then when I finally make it to him…he's gone and now he's alone up there in heaven, I can't get there because I ripped out my own grace."

Sam felt his own tears emerge and he bit back a sob of his own.

Cas felt guilty sitting in Dean's apartment, crying to Dean's brother about how much he misses him and how much he has screwed up, it should be Castiel comforting Sam.

"I'm sorry…you have just lost your only brother, I shouldn't be so selfish." Cas said, wiping away his tears.

"It's ok…it's understandable, from what Dean told me…you have been there his whole life, even before me. I get it…we're both grieving right now. Look I just came by to…well I don't even know why I came by…but I should get back to Jessica, she has been fussing over me for days"

Castiel nodded and smiled sadly at Sam.

"Of course…Gabriel will look out for you during this sad time Sam, I promise."

Sam smiled in return.

"Gabriel…he's my guardian angel, right? Dean mentioned him"

"Yes, he's very caring…he will make sure you get through this ordeal, I promise."

"And what about you…Do you have anyone at all?

Castiel bowed his head, realisation creeping up on him once again that he in fact has nobody. He doesn't want to be here, doesn't want to be human…not without Dean.

"No…I know human life is precious, but right now…I don't want it. I just wish I could get to Dean…I wish there was a way…"

He stopped mid sentence and looked at Sam with wide eyes.

"…there is a way. Why didn't I think of it before…rest assured Sam, I will not leave your brother alone up there, I will get to him…I will find him, he won't be alone I promise."

Sam frowned in confusion and shook his head.

"But I thought you said you couldn't return to heaven…you're not an angel anymore"

"There are other ways to get to heaven Sam"

O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O

Dean sat cautiously at the bar of the Roadhouse, only nobody was around…no Jo, no Ellen and no Ash.

"Hello?"

"Hello Dean"

He spun around to see a shorter guy, with slightly long brown coloured hair. Dean eyed the guy suspiciously and stood up.

"Who are you?"

"I'm Gabriel"

Dean's eyes widened and he took a step forward.

"THE Gabriel…Cas' brother…Sam's angel…what are you doing here?"

Gabriel smiled sadly at Dean and he approached the Winchester.

"Do you know where you are?"

"I'm at the Roadhouse…or at least I think…I can't remember how…I was in the impala and…" Dean stumbled through his words, his memory slightly fuzzy at this point and then it all hit him at once and his eyes widened in realisation.

"…oh my god…I'm dead, aren't I?"

"I'm afraid so kid…that's what drinking and driving will do to ya"

Dean sunk back onto the barstool, feeling slightly shaky and a tiny bit sick.

"I can't be dead…I can't leave Sammy behind…" Dean said urgently, tears welling up.

"Don't worry about Sam, I'll look out for him as I have always done…I'll make sure he goes on to build a life for himself, I promise you that."

"Can I see him? Please just one last time…" Dean begged, launching towards Gabriel.

"No can do…I'm sorry Dean, your death is too fresh…if I try and take you down there, and all sorts of things could go wrong. Maybe one day I can take you to visit Sam, but not right now"

Dean sighed loudly, gulping back the bile in his throat and let out a shaky breath, leaning against the Roadhouse bar.

"And this place…"

He said motioning to their surroundings.

"…am I in heaven?"

"Yeah, you're in your own personal heaven…everyone has their own heaven, built around what they knew in their previous life. I guess yours is the Roadhouse."

Dean nodded and smiled sadly.

"I guess…only without the company…wait if this is heaven, where is Castiel?"

Gabriel took a deep breath, knowing the question was coming.

"Look about that…"

"NO I wanna see Cas…please, I don't want to be alone here…I know he is here somewhere, he's an angel…"

"Not anymore"

Dean stopped in his rant and blinked rapidly.

"What the hell does that mean?"

"He tore out his grace, fell to earth and became human…so he could be with you, but he was too late"

"What?" Dean choked in horror, fresh tears now rolling down his face.

"I'm sorry Dean"

"Wait…so you're telling me that Cas is now on earth as human and I'm up here? So even though he's sacrificed everything…we have both still ended up alone"

"Look Dean…you can't blame yourself here…neither of you can…"

"But I DO blame myself, if I hadn't of been so reckless and stupid, actually listened to my brother when he told me not drink…learnt from past mistakes and experience, I could still be down there…with my friends, family and with CAS!"

Gabriel bowed his head in sadness and looked back up to Dean with determined eyes.

"You listen to me Dean Winchester…I know my brother and I know that somehow…he will find his way to you. I am certain of it, even if that means sacrificing his human life too"

Dean shook his head sadly and sunk onto the barstool.

"I failed…I failed all of them"

"No offence Dean-o…but suck it up. I promise Sam will be OK…I always follow through on my promises, I know it hurts right now but I can assure you he will be fine and as for Castiel, he's a determined little former angel…just promise me you will wait here because if I know my brother…come hell or high water, it won't be long before he finds you again"

Dean looked doubtful, but nodded none the less…after all, where else could he go.

Gabriel disappeared into the night and left Dean alone at the empty Roadhouse bar in heaven, where he grieved for his loss and obediently waited for the day Castiel would make it through them doors.

O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O

Sam walked back into Dean's apartment just 3 hours after he left Castiel alone once again and he was met with the sight of Castiel's body lifeless, spread across Dean's bed.

He knew it was coming, of course that's what Castiel meant about returning to heaven, what other way was there other than dying.

Sam eyed the pill bottles around the room and took a deep breath, before stepping forward to check Cas' pulse.

When he felt nothing, he called for an ambulance knowing it was too late…but that's what Castiel wanted.

After Sam hung up the phone, he sat beside Cas' body and smiled sadly.

"Take care of Dean for me"

O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O

Dean felt like he had been staring at the same walls for weeks, when in fact it had only been hours in earth time.

The urge to get the hell out of the 'Roadhouse' was becoming too much, but he didn't want to move a muscle. So instead he let his mind run over everything in his life, his mom, his dad, Sammy, Jo, Ellen and Castiel…especially Cas. He had never felt such a bond with somebody before and he prayed to get that back, maybe he could still live a happy ever after…even in the after life.

He sat down on the barstool once more, crossing his arms on the bar and proceeding to bury his head in them.

The familiar creaking sound of the Roadhouse door greeted Dean's ears, but he didn't bother to look up. For hours now he kept thinking he had heard doors open or Jo speaking or even Gabriel returning and it was nothing every single time. Why would this time be any different?

"Dean?"

His heart stopped at the sound of his name, the familiar gravelly voice working its way to Dean's ears.

Dean whipped his head up and his jaw dropped at the sight of Castiel stood in the Roadhouse.

"Cas?" He choked out, tears now welling up behind his eyes once again as he stood up.

Castiel sighed in relief, tears of his own now running freely as he launched towards Dean in a desperate attempt.

"I found you"

Castiel pushed into Dean's arms, gripping him in a tight hug and Dean sobbed in relief, finally having his angel back.

"I can't believe you're here…you found me, you actually did it"

Both men sobbed openly, Cas pulled back and smiled widely at Dean.

"I found you…"

He kissed Dean everywhere, on the forehead, the cheeks, the eyelids, nose and finally a long, hard kiss on his lips, before breaking away to rest their foreheads together.

"…I will always find you"

Dean's lips quivered and for the first time tears of joy flooded both of them.

"I'm so scared Cas…please don't leave me, I can't do this alone"

Castiel cupped Dean's face and placed another firm kiss on his lips.

"You will never be alone again I promise, I am not going anywhere."

Dean laughed and smiled at his former angel.

"So this is kind of a forever deal?"

"Forever"


	15. Chapter 15

8 Years later…

"Night DJ"

Sam spoke softly, giving his son a kiss on the forehead and starting to leave the bedroom when he heard a small voice speak up.

"Daddy…I'm not sleepy yet" DJ complained, pouting and Sam couldn't help but laugh, knowing his son definitely inherited his puppy dog eyes.

"Ok…you want me to read you a story?"

DJ shook his head, as his dad took a seat next to him on the bed.

"Daddy…tell me about Uncle Dean again"

Sam let out a small smile and snuggled in next to his son.

"Sure"

DJ grinned and tucked into his dad's side; Sam sucked in a deep, shaky breath and began to speak.

"Your uncle Dean was…the best big brother ever. He looked after me; cared for me…we were very close growing up."

"I want a brother just like Uncle Dean"

"Maybe give it a year or two kid, don't think your mom is quite ready to produce another one of you" Sam said with a chuckle, ruffling DJ's hair affectionately.

"Would Uncle Dean like me Dad?"

"Oh he would love you so much, he would have been so proud of you…just like me and your mom are. I'm sure Uncle Dean would have taken you to lots of cool places and brought you lots of loud presents that would annoy Daddy" Sam laughed fondly, knowing that's exactly what Dean would have done. Even if it had just been to piss off Sam.

"He sounds cool…"

"Yeah he always thought so" Sam said with a raised eyebrow, causing DJ to laugh.

"Is Uncle Dean in heaven?"

Sam let out a long sigh, smiling sadly and nodding his head.

"Yeah…I'm sure of it."

"I hope he's not lonely up there" DJ said, bowing his head slightly.

Sam looked down at his son and hugged him tightly for re-assurance.

"Of course he's not alone…he has Cas, they will always look out for each other"

"Who is Cas?"

Sam smiled widely at his son.

"Cas is your Uncle Dean's angel…remember what I said, every person on this whole planet DJ…they have a guardian angel watching over them."

"Including me?"

"Especially you" Sam said, poking his son lightly on the end of his nose.

DJ laughed and smiled up at his dad.

O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O

Silently and invisible to the world, Gabriel, Castiel and Dean watched the scene before them unfold.

Dean watched his younger brother interact with his son and tell him all about well…Dean. A tear rolled silently down Dean's face and he smiled.

"Dean Jonathan Winchester…good kid" Gabriel said with affection.

"He's amazing…just like his Daddy" Dean said with a wide smile.

Castiel turned to Dean, placing a comforting hand on his shoulder and a sad smile twitching at the corners of his lips.

"I know this must break every rule in the book…bringing us here to see them. But I really appreciate it. Thanks Gabriel" Dean said, turning to the arch angel with a thankful smile.

"Anytime" Gabriel responded with his own smile.

Dean took one final look at his younger brother and his nephew, before turning to Cas.

"And thank you…for everything. I don't say it enough. I love you Cas." Dean said genuinely and Castiel smiled, nodding in response before leaning in and placing a kiss tenderly on Dean's lips.

"I love you too Dean."

"Now…"

Dean took Castiel's hand in his own and smiled at his angel.

"…let's go home."


End file.
